Lessons from the Trenches of Motherhood: Wisdom from Alex Wachelka, IBCLC

Ever wondered about the untold, raw stories of childbirth and breastfeeding? Today, we walk hand in hand with Alex Wachelka, a certified International Board Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Her journey is filled with candid experiences of childbirth, the mystery of cluster feeding, the discomfort of 'brick dust' urine and the discovery of education and a career change that transformed her breastfeeding journey. Yes, the road was rocky, but Alex's determination and drive to persevere is a story that will inspire and resonate with many of us.

The second part of our conversation with Alex navigates through her preparation for the birth of her second child. Prepare to be amazed by the hypno birthing techniques that led to a fast, unmedicated birth. Alex shares her secret strategy of collecting her own colostrum before birth, an unconventional yet innovative technique that we delve deeper into. Alex's story, filled with wisdom and practical advice, will help mothers safeguard their milk supply and prepare for any breastfeeding challenges that may come their way.

Finally, we venture into Alex's path towards becoming an IBCLC. We uncover the hurdles of postpartum, the power of trusting one's instincts and the importance of support and information in successfully navigating motherhood. Alex's story is a testament to the strength that resides in all of us, ready to be unleashed. If you're seeking the expertise of an IBCLC like Alex, don’t worry, we've got you covered. Listen in as she shares her contact information for anyone in need. This conversation with Alex Wachelka is a must-listen for mothers and mothers-to-be worldwide. Come, join us on this journey of inspiration, knowledge, and practical strategies.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:28

Hello, today I have with me Alex Wachelka, ibclc. Alex is the mother of two and became a lactation consultant after her first was born. If you want to work with Alex, go to motherhoodbloomslactationcom. Today she is going to share her birth stories with us. Alex, welcome and thank you so much for joining me.

Speaker 2: 0:50

Thank you so much for having me, Kelly. I'm really happy to be here today, yeah.

Speaker 1: 0:53

I'm excited to hear how you became a lactation consultant and what transpired that made you have that career choice.

Speaker 2: 1:00

Yes, it was definitely something I never expected would happen, and it all started with the birth of my first child, and he was born in 2019. So I was first time mom. I prepared for labor and birth, reading books. I wanted to have an unmedicated vaginal delivery. I surrounded myself with stories of other people who were able to do that. I learned about interventions and made my plan for how I wanted to bring him into the world and where I lived at the time. I was under the care of midwives and I had the opportunity to birth at their clinic, so sort of like a birth center. They had a birthing suite in their clinic. I knew that for me, I wasn't going to feel safe inside a hospital and the only other option was home delivery. And, as a first time mom, home birth wasn't quite where I wanted to be, so I opted for their birthing suite. So while he arrived early so it was a little unexpected how the events played out and how he was born but my water broke actually at 39 and five.

Speaker 2: 2:08

I had woke up in the morning. I just had to go to the bathroom when I sat down to pee when I think back, I swear I heard a little sound, a little pop, something inside and I was like that seems weird. I just got up and I went about my day but then there was like this dripping and leaking. I was like oh my gosh, does this mean my water broke? I think my water broke and I kind of let it go and I went outside to my husband. I was like I think my water broke very much as a first time mom you have, depending on how you prepare, we still have the aspect of media and you have that vision of what you're shown is like that gosh, like oh my gosh. And then labor starts and I just had this trickle and was like I don't know. So we called the midwives, we went in. They said yeah, come on in. No, they asked me a few questions. We go to see them. They confirmed my water did break. I have no contractions. So I was like, well, okay, what do we do? And we just we waited out.

Speaker 2: 3:01

So it was this, this process of waiting to see, try some things to bring on labor, some like I was walking on the treadmill, bouncing on the ball. I even got to a point at one point where I was using my breast pump to try and do nipple stimulation, get the oxytocin flowing, get contractions going, and nothing was really progressing. I wasn't really worried. My midwives were a really wonderful team. There was no induction pressure, there was no like well, we are going to have to go to the hospital. It was very much assessed, my situation, and it was still evidence based. But I got to be fully informed in my decision making and I was like we're waiting, I'm having this baby in the birth center.

Speaker 2: 3:45

So that was at like six am my water broke and I did not have a contraction until 1045 at night. And it was actually only after I had chatted with my midwives and we made the informed decision to use castor oil to get things going because nothing was happening and I was like what is going on? This baby was just, he was so comfortable and I was ready to start labor because it had been so long since my water had broken, and so we went through the risks and benefits, made my informed decision, drank the castor oil. It was disgusting. And then it was still like two hours, though after that nothing really happened. I was like, okay, he's not coming today, no problem, I'll just go to bed. And I was in bed for about 15 minutes and I had a very strong contraction. I was like, oh okay, I can't lay down through this. I had to get up. And then the next one came and I had to, like I had to walk around, I couldn't lay down through these contractions and I let them happen for about 30 minutes and then I went to get my husband and I said I'm in labor, called the midwives. I couldn't even. I couldn't even make a phone call to them. I think contractions were five or seven, seven minutes apart, like they were getting closer, but like, well, it's not time to come yet. I was like, oh my gosh, no, we need. I wanted to labor there instead of in my home. And then when they finally said that we could come in, it was probably about two hours. I labor at home.

Speaker 2: 5:10

Trying to get out of our house into the truck to drive to the midwives was like we had to take breaks because it was in between contractions. I was inactive labor. I was someone who was also vomiting in labor and we know that that pressure is good. It was dilating was a very interesting experience. Like I was in the backseat of our truck and I just had a bowl and was like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2: 5:32

And I remember I literally don't remember the drives to the midwives. I barely even remember getting into the midwives. I remember, though, as soon as we got in, I dropped to my knees because I did a lot of my laboring on all fours. I dropped to my knees at the bench on their front step. I just put my head down and I remember my midwives off to my side and all I hear is well, this looks like active labor. And I was like I told you it was active labor.

Speaker 2: 5:57

And then their birthing suite was up a very steep set of stairs. When you walk in its reception, the clinic is upstairs. So it was like, okay, the contraction ended, go. And I made it to the top of the stairs and I was like, okay, down again. The contractions would pull me down, and I would, because I was going to labor on Medicaid, and so I was like I would just drop to my hands and knees close to another contraction.

Speaker 2: 6:16

But then, once we got there, I had their shower. So I use a lot of hydrotherapy. That was really wonderful. We filled up the tub, so I used hydrotherapy was so effective. It was something I did also when, when I had my second child and I just would spend so much time in the shower. I would walk around, I'd go back to the tub. That's what I really loved about having the birth at the birth suite, because I had that sort of freedom to move around as I needed to change positions as I needed to, and I was progressing. Everything was going well. There were no issues, no complications. I spent transition in the shower, which I'm glad I did.

Speaker 2: 6:51

I was throwing up again and then finally came the time to push and when I think back I don't understand why I did what I did. But I guess I never fully understood how it was supposed to feel and so I was not like I wasn't pushing, like I was having a bowel movement. I thought I was bearing down but I was like recruiting other muscles and I was like so sore and it just wasn't. When I think back, especially when I compare it to birth number two, it just feels like it was very unnatural. But I was. I didn't really know when. I thought I had prepared and because of that it took a long time. I spent three hours pushing, so my active labor was only from the time those contractions started to pushing was eight hours and so first time mom, that's not bad, but then pushing was three hours because I wasn't doing it right. I just it is what it is. There was a lot of coaching also of like, okay, and now push. And I always felt like there was a bit of a delay, like I could feel it in my body. I was like no, no, no, you're saying now, but I need like three more seconds before it's truly the moment to push, and so I think that kind of threw things off a little bit.

Speaker 2: 8:07

Ultimately, I had to get out of the tub. I had no intentions of having him be born in water. It was just like, if it happens, it happens. I love the water for managing the pain and they the middle. I said it's probably going to be best. You can get out of the water onto the bed. And I think he was almost crowning at that point and I was like I don't think I can. So they helped me get out. Remember, I sat on the bed and I was almost crowning. So there was pressure, my premium was stretching and I was like I thought I don't know why. I thought that I had sat on him. I was like, oh my gosh, I thought his head was out and he was not born. But I think it was like the pressure and I was like so. Then I was like panicking and I just labored for like nine hours and I was like this is on remis.

Speaker 2: 8:51

They're like no. And then literally it was like one push his head was born, one push his body came out and I was like okay, we should have gone out of the tub a long time ago. So ultimately we did have to use that natural augmentation of the castor oil, but I was still able to have the unmedicated vaginal delivery that I had hoped for, and because of that there was no interruptions between our skin to skin time and that initial latch and we got to just hang out the three of us this is brand new family. Like the midwives did their check and then they just go and chart, they spent time in the other room, so we're just laying on this queen size bed in this room that kind of looks like it's your own home. So it was just a really comfortable experience. It was nice to be just like laying in a bed like that after laboring so long at night, because I mean from water breaking. It was a very long time, it was like 28 hours from water breaking to birth, but the labor itself was nine hours. So I was tired still and it was nice to be able to spend that golden hour together and have him be skin to skin on my body, and one of the things, though, that I did was I didn't get to have the breast crawl, where we have that natural. You know, babies have their instincts and reflexes, and they just sort of creep and crawl up to the breast to have their first latch.

Speaker 2: 10:16

And it was only because I just, I think I felt like he had to like latch right away, when I know now that that doesn't have to happen, and so I had, just like, brought him to my breast to have his first latch, and because I had used the pump during labor to try and stimulate the oxytocin to flow, I remember the midwife said how does that feel? I was like, oh my gosh, it's way stronger than the pump, and meanwhile I didn't realize what was about to happen. Is that what I thought was strength was actually him just clamping right down on the nipple because he had a shallow latch, and you know, the next 24 hours of cluster feeding was ahead of me. And then that's when everything just changed dramatically. But I had thought it was a cool moment, it didn't really hurt, but I was like, oh wow, it feels so much different than using the breast pump. And so, with the midwives in the birthing center because everything was fine. We are discharged after three hours and then you just head home and then it was okay. Well, now we're parents, I guess I'd like what do we do now? So it was just a lot of relaxing and then feeding my baby when he queued that he was hungry, and it was probably the next day because we got home about one o'clock in the afternoon. He was born around just after 9 am, three hours at the midwives. We were home in the early afternoon and it was a long day for him too. The birthing process is a lot for both, and my baby was tired, so he was probably only queuing to feed every two or three hours, that sort of standard that you hear, which really doesn't happen much beyond maybe that first day of birth. So things felt okay.

Speaker 2: 12:00

It was really like when the first night came and then the second night came where the cluster feeding started, and then I was realizing that something had to be wrong because his latch was so painful. I didn't even want him on my body. I didn't want to bring him to my body. I would bring my shoulders to my ears like hold my breath, tense up, because I couldn't do it. It was painful, it was causing damage. But as much as I had thought that I had prepared ahead of time by reading stories and understanding, I did actually take a prenatal breastfeeding class, but I took it way too late. I was 38 weeks pregnant and I sat through the whole class with Braxton Hicks. So I did not pay attention, and I will admit that. So then, when the time came, all I knew was I was in pain and this shouldn't be right. There was actually one night where it was cluster feeding and I would do everything I possibly could to postpone the feeding, push it back. That can reduce milk supply. I didn't know that. I was like he can wait a little bit longer, a little bit longer, a little bit longer. Then he had brick dust urine. So he had that dark orange urine. That's not supposed to happen.

Speaker 2: 13:12

Past day three. It was day seven and I knew that that was a red flag. I didn't realize that it was my doing from the night before of not wanting him to cluster feed, and so we had to go. We went back to the midwives and then it sort of this whole thing kind of snowballed into then going to the IBCLC at the public health unit them immediately telling me he needed to be on formula. My heart was broken. I asked about donor milk. They said no, he's, that's not a thing, it's just for sick babies in the NICU you can't access donor milk. And it was very much like he nursed, they weighed him and then it was like, oh, he needs to eat, can we give him formula? I was like there's no informed decision making. We weren't really on the same page. When I say we, I mean myself and the lactation consultant.

Speaker 2: 14:04

The midwives were helpful. They helped me learn how to do tube feeding to give him the opportunity he needed to eat, but also to allow my body time to heal, because I was experiencing excruciating pain and damage. And I remember, actually, when I first called the public health unit, I said it hurts when he's breastfeeding and they said, well, that's normal. And I just broke down into tears. I was like there's no way this is normal. You don't understand. When I say this hurts, you're not listening to me. Well, you know it should like after a few seconds, the pain should go away. And I was like, no, it's continuous, it's not normal. And that's something that drives me crazy. Now is an IBCLC, because stop telling moms it's normal, it's not normal. And so I ended up at public health with the IBCLC and it just we were not on the same page.

Speaker 2: 14:54

I knew I could do this. I had this deep desire to breastfeed my baby. I don't really know why, because I didn't really see it growing up. My sisters and I were breastfed for a short period of time. My mom had a lot of challenges. I just knew I was like I'm breastfeeding this baby, I'm supposed to breastfeed this baby, just show me how to do it. And there was a lot of well, your body's not gonna be able to keep up with him. And we worked on the same page. I wouldn't have the support that I felt that I should have.

Speaker 2: 15:24

Ultimately, she did help find the root cause, and the root cause was a posterior tongue tie and a lip tie. That was why his lash was so shallow and so damaging, because he physically couldn't draw the nipples where it needed to be in his mouth. So I am grateful that that was discovered, because we had that resolved. We worked on those issues and then, honestly, the rest was up to me. But I was able to wean him off of formula by 10 weeks and then exclusively breastfeed him until he was 17 months old. But it was those first six weeks where it can be some of the hardest time, but it was those first six weeks where I didn't I know one was listening. They heard the words I was saying but they weren't listening, so the support just wasn't there.

Speaker 2: 16:13

We worked on the same page and because of that, while they discovered the root cause and we addressed that, there was still a lot I had to do on my own. I had to bring up my milk supply. I had to figure out how to wean off of formula. I had to stop using bottles and tubes and have him at breast and to do that I do what most moms do and I went on the internet. But because I think, because my background is in nutrition and I know, like I knew how to find PubMed articles and things like that, so I knew like where to go was still a ton of information. I was still confused. But because of that I found, instead of just reading blogs, I was actually taking webinars from IBCLCs, from, like, the International Breastfeeding Center in Toronto, like I was doing these things just to learn for myself, so that I can figure out how to breastfeed this child.

Speaker 2: 17:00

I just wanted to nurse him and then through that process I was getting so much more into it. I was always really into like the human body and biology and science and that part was really interesting that we grow this baby and now our body just automatically makes food for them and now we just keep growing them but they're on the outside of our body. Like it was really cool to me. And then also I thought that's not okay how I, what I just went through, there's mom should not have to go through what I just went through. Why should they not be listened to? Why shouldn't their feelings be validated? That's not okay. And the more that I had these thoughts in my head as I was learning, I was like I want to do this, I want to become a lactation consultant. And I was four months postpartum and the opportunity to start the education portion and learning more about the lactation physiology and that aspect came up and I took it. I was on Matley with my son. There was no guarantee of the job I left was even going to be there. So I said to my husband it's like I think this is what I want to do. He was like okay, and so yeah, four months postpartum I started.

Speaker 2: 19:45

The process took several years, but that's when I started the process, and it was through my experience with my firstborn and the education of becoming a lactation consultant that I did things differently for baby number two, and the biggest thing that I did as far as preparation went is for labor. I actually did hypno birthing. This time I was able to have the unmedicated birth that I wanted. I just wanted another tool, just because the experience could look very different. We were having a home birth with our second, and that was the main thing that I did differently was hypno birthing, and it made such a difference, I think, because this baby again water broke, but this time labor started right away. Less than 10 minutes contraction came and then they just ramped up so fast. From water breaking to birth was three hours. The midwives barely got there in time. They're like Alex, if you have any more kids, don't leave your house. It was fast, and I do, though I do believe I think the hypno therapy had something to do with that, because it was. I just had a different mindset and I also. He was born in like two pushes, not three hours of pushing, it was. I knew what I was doing and I just had more trust in my body, and so that was something that I did. Different for labor.

Speaker 2: 21:09

But one thing that I did different prenatally for the breastfeeding aspect was to collect my colostrum before he was born, because I knew if my first was tongue tied, there's a genetic link. There was a high possibility that my second would be tongue tied as well. At that point I could do the one, I could assess it myself. I was like a month away from writing the board exam to be an IV CLC, and so I was like I'm gonna collect colostrum and it was super cool, I'm gonna nerd out on that as a lactation consultant, because your body makes milk before your baby's born and this is something that also we as women aren't really educated about properly. Because we have this milk coming in and I've even consciously chosen my words when I teach prenatal classes because your milk's already there. It's just transitioning, the volume's going up, it's moving from colostrum to mature milk. It's already there 16 to 20 weeks. Your body's making it.

Speaker 2: 22:04

So I was like I'm gonna collect colostrum, because if this baby has a tongue tied and if this baby can't latch, well, I'm not going to grin and bear it. I'm not gonna suck it up and tough it out, because I know breastfeeding's not supposed to be painful. So I'm gonna have a plan in place and that plan is to harvest my own colostrum so that I don't have to supplement him with formula, so that if he can't be at the breast, I have some supplement to give him while I then pump and hand express and finger feed and do all those same things again before we get the tongue tied release. But collecting colostrum is something that I would really encourage, especially if you know that there are potential challenges ahead, and for me I knew that there was a potential challenge. So it goes 36 and a half weeks I started collecting colostrum and it's just a really simple process of hand expression and just collecting a few drops, like it's really very minimal amounts because there's no baby to feed yet, so your body's not gonna produce in large volumes.

Speaker 2: 23:07

But I remember the first time that I did that, even though I knew colostrum was gonna come out I'm a lactation consultant I was just like my body's already making milk, Like it was so validating. I was like I can do this again. My body can feed another baby, I can do it, I'm making milk already and then collecting that colostrum. I just saved it in syringes. We had it in the freezer.

Speaker 2: 23:28

I actually used it because he was born with a posterior tongue tie and a lip tie and, just like his brother, latching was uncomfortable. It wasn't the same level of pain because I was actually better skilled. Breastfeeding is the learned skill. I was better this time around for multiple reasons, but I could better position him at the breast and get a deeper latch. It was still only so good.

Speaker 2: 23:53

There was limitations because of the oral dysfunction that he had, but I was then able to feed him with the syringe, the colostrum hand, express, remove milk on my own and essentially ensure that he got enough milk. I protected my supply, nursed him on and off pumping versus nursing finger feeding until we could then do all of the prep work and then the release for the tongue ties. So it made a significant difference because I don't even know if I could think of the hypothetical of, like, if I didn't become a lactation consultant, what would have happened with baby number two, because I just I know I'm supposed to be here, so it's hard to think of well what would have happened, but I probably would have had a similar experience of this herds. Maybe it's a tongue tie, but not have that peace at the beginning of protecting my milk supply and knowing how to do hand expression and collect this colostrum to essentially save my breastfeeding journey before it even started. So it just all goes back to the very first experience I had becoming a mom and feeding a baby.

Speaker 1: 24:51

That's so interesting. So I was a nurse with my first postpartum nurse and I just done the gold lactation conference and they talked about collecting breast milk and how that helped with I think it was people with gestational diabetes and I was like, huh, let me see if I could do that. Because at the hospital that I worked at they were pretty strict about how much weight loss could happen before you had to have formula supplementation. There is no option for donor breast milk. And so I was like, well, I know that I can pump and it could potentially help me go into labor too. So I used the hand pump. I didn't hand express. I got eight ounces and froze them Wow, and I had. I brought them to the hospital and both my kids were real slow to latch the first 24 hours With my daughter I just I used that time to have the nurses help my husband learn how to feed and while I pumped, just to collect more milk and keep my supply up.

Speaker 1: 25:49

And then at home, when it got too sore for her to breastfeed which later I found out she had a lip tie. I thought she did, but nobody was validating that until a dentist, like two years later, was like, oh yeah, that's a lip tie that receded. I can see where you had that and her lip top lip would curl under when she breastfed, so it felt like it just sent chills throughout my whole body every time she latched. And I mean eventually it would be less painful, but that first initial when she's trying to get on, it was rough. And then with my son again, he was very sleepy and he had a milder lip tie which receded eventually.

Speaker 1: 26:28

But those first 24 hours which is what I often tell new moms to do now when their kids are having a difficult latch I just would hand express and just had him lick it off the breast and my nurse would come in and be like, so how long did you feed? And I would be like, oh well, he didn't want to latch again, so I just hand expressed and he licked about 300 drops off. They were like what Second baby? You know, it's like a vacation. I was just in the hospital watching movies, eating the free food and hand expressing. I was like I got nothing else to do, which I might as well just hang out with this kid, and it really doesn't take that long, honestly. And they say I don't know what the recommendation is now, but they used to say 12 to 20 drops is a meal for the hand expressing.

Speaker 2: 27:11

Yeah, because it's really only about five mils.

Speaker 1: 27:14

Right, like that's their first meal.

Speaker 2: 27:16

It's like five to seven mils, we're talking like one teaspoon.

Speaker 1: 27:21

Exactly so then it just goes up the next day. It's like isn't it like seven to 15? I don't remember. I just hand out the paper and then I'm like, ok, how much shall you know, how much did you pump or how much does your feed? But yeah, I mean it doesn't have to be so complicated. And I remember the same, even though I was a health care provider and I taught moms how to breastfeed, I felt kind of lost, and even my second time.

Speaker 1: 27:45

I have friends that are lactation consultants and they were like getting texts from me all the time because you need support and it just it baffles me that there's not a good central place for that ongoing support for moms, especially moms that may not have the resources to hire someone. I mean, I know at the hospital we have lactation consultants in a hotline but it's hard for the lactation consultants even to get to the patient and when they do, it's like they're on to the next very quickly. They do what they can, just like nurses are doing what we can. We go in there and help latch and then we have to move on and give medications and do all the other stuff. So it stinks that we don't have better resources. So I'm so glad that you have made that career change and are providing that resource for people.

Speaker 2: 28:31

Thank you. Yeah, that's. It's something that I hear a lot from people who have, you know, older children. They've had a breastfeeding experience or even if it was 30 years ago, like you don't forget I so many people will say, where were you 10 years ago? Or where were you when I needed to do? I wish I knew about you X amount of years ago. And it's not my colleagues here.

Speaker 2: 28:52

This too, all over the world IBCLC is like we're told this from someone because the support it's still lacking. And I am so glad you just said what you said because it's something that I try and share with my clients prenatally is that some hospitals have the staff, some don't, and those that do have the staff, the time isn't there. There isn't, maybe it's, there's only one lactation consultant and then you know the nursing staff have some extra education. But then you just said you guys are pulled in all different directions. There's more.

Speaker 2: 29:25

You can see someone for a very short period of time and we both know that that might not be enough time, especially if things are feeling a little unnatural, which it's normal because it's something you have to learn how to do and if they come in and they only check one latch and you weren't even sure about it. Now you're at home to try and figure it out by yourself. So it is. It is something that I try to share, that message, because I think a lot of people think like, oh, the hospital could help me. They want to like sometimes the resources aren't there, the people aren't there or they can't be with you for the time that you need them to be with you for which is not that's a system issue.

Speaker 1: 30:02

Like an entire health care system issue in this country, not just one system insurance and the way that we bill and all those things you know.

Speaker 1: 30:10

That makes it impossible in this country for that support, or it's just not programmed in.

Speaker 1: 30:15

It should be part of the postpartum care, just like more follow-ups for perinatal mental health, more follow-ups for making sure that we're breastfeeding With someone that is skilled to diagnose the issues, like a tongue tie and a lip tie that doesn't just brush them aside, because I had a lot of people that were like, oh no, it's not a big deal, you know, and then on top of that, have somebody 24 hours a day that can be on call to try to help with feeding, because feeding doesn't just happen during the day and some of the most frustrating feeding times are in the middle of the night. We could have so much better support in this country, and it's not like the funds aren't there, it's just the willingness, I think. So you actually probably answered this question, but I'll ask it anyway in case there's something else that you would want to say. I ask everybody this if you could go back and talk to yourself before this whole experience, what would you want to tell yourself, even if it's just like reassurance?

Speaker 2: 31:07

That's a really great question, probably to just continue to trust myself and my instincts and it's something that I tell all moms that I work with because they're there for a reason Whether you truly know what the issue is. I've never I've yet, in two years of doing this, I've yet to meet a mom who has said I feel like something's off, I feel like this is the issue and she has been wrong, like they're right every single time. Whether it's truly what the issue is or we find you know there's a different root cause. When a mom says you know they so and so, said it's fine, but I think it's this or I think something's wrong, they are right, and I think part of me as a brand new mom was hearing well, your body's not gonna keep up with him as he gets older and thinking that's not right. I know I can do it, don't figure it out myself then. Or like, oh no, the pain is normal. Well, no, you know what? There's no way this is normal.

Speaker 2: 31:57

How have people breastfed children since humans existed? If this is what they're feeling and I think that's what I would I probably just try and reinforce that message to myself. I'll keep listening to yourself because you have. Your instincts are there for a reason. They're telling you something. I may not know exactly what they are, but they're telling you something, so follow though, and I probably could have got breastfeeding help a little bit sooner and not experience so much damage, because I thought this isn't normal. But then I had society's idea of like oh yeah, it's fine, it's normal, push on through, let them toughen up. Like all this misinformation. I was like, okay, drowned out. What I truly felt inside was this can't be normal, so I would just reinforce that to myself.

Speaker 1: 32:39

Well, and I feel like we medicalize everything nowadays and there is this innate ability to birth and see the baby. That just needs to be supported. And I'm a nurse and I do medical interventions and I'm grateful for them when they're needed. But there's a lot that can just go ahead and happen a lot of the time and having to push formula on someone that doesn't want it. Now, if somebody wants formula, perfect, that's how you want to feed your baby. Good, that's there for you. But if somebody wants to breastfeed, it's equally important to have that support and to use the formula when medically necessary, and I think anymore. Now there's more and more good options for donor milk, but if you have your own milk, even better.

Speaker 1: 33:21

You mentioned the pushing was different for your seconds. Do you know what you did differently? Was there? Were there different muscles? Cause I remember with my first I did Pilates and I kind of had learned to pull in and pull up, maintain my core muscles and to push out was weird. So most new moms it does take them a little time to figure that out. What do you think was different with the second? Or was it just like your baby was coming?

Speaker 2: 33:45

Partially that he was in a rush, but I think also it had to do with the hypnobirthing. So I read the Mangan method. So I read the book and it was very much the part around breathing techniques and it was you taking a deep breath in and then, as you exhale, it's forcing the breath to the back of your throat and down your spine and then coming down into your pelvis and then imagine it coming like out and up, like curving, like a J, I think it's how they described it.

Speaker 2: 34:15

And it was like practice this when you poop Practices for bowel movements, because it's very similar and so that's what I literally would practice. I was like, okay, that's how I do it, that's how I do it. And then when I was ready to push with my second, I think it just felt different, partially because of that. But then also I knew the experience of like well, it kind of does feel similar to I don't it's not same as a bowel movement, like the pressure, like where you're feeling the pressure.

Speaker 2: 34:45

It's in that same area and I was like, yeah, the first time I was kind of doing, yeah, just weird sort of pushing, but like pulling in my core, I can't even describe it.

Speaker 2: 34:56

But with my second, it was like I just allowed my body to relax and open and I just did that deep breathing and that lowered him. And then when I was actually crowning, I just paused and was like just deep breaths, deep breaths, and I just like paused or wasn't trying to push down or bear down or anything, I was just allowing myself to naturally open so he could be born. And then that was when the midwives came in because they were still trying to get set up and I was like I'm crowning. I was in the shower using the hydrotherapy again and I was like I just called her. I knew I was crowning, but I could feel his head and I was like I'm crowning. She's like frantically comes in and then this part kind of bugged me Cause then she turned the lights on and I had the lights off. We just had like candles, like trying to set to the low lights to have the delivery that I wanted.

Speaker 2: 35:51

So she just like shuts my water off, turns the bright lights on, like we had to like throw off my oxytocin but, I, was crowning at that point and then, because I had paused, I had repositioned my body, I was cause I was again laboring on all fours, I had kind of come up to my knees and then she was like no, move your body this way. Like, okay, turn here. Like she just didn't have the visual she needed. But I was like he's coming. But then that's when she once she kind of did that and she was like okay, she's like this is what I really love. She said push how you feel you need to.

Speaker 2: 36:23

And it was my first midwives. It was like okay, one, two, three, okay, push, push. I told her like it was like coach pushing, and I didn't like that. I ended up with broken blood vessels in my face. I had a different midwife, cause we lived in a different city actually. So I totally different team, different care, and that was one thing I told her in my postpartum checkup. So I was like you know what? One thing that I really appreciate that you said to me that I will forever remember is push how you feel you need to, cause I didn't want to be coached again. I was like my body can do this. And then, as so, when she said that, I was like okay, here we go. And then that's when I used that breathing technique. It was like his head was born. And then I did one more, and then he was born and I was like okay.

Speaker 2: 36:59

Yeah, I think I kind of listened to my body a little bit more and fully allowed myself to feel the sensations like where they're supposed to be, cause it was my first. Just also I was in water with my first, so I went float of it and then I couldn't have the proper push and I was like, okay, and then that's when they said just get out, go on the bed. And then it took two push Time for gravity to take over.

Speaker 1: 37:20

Yeah, there's a place for coached pushing when somebody just clearly doesn't know, especially if he can't feel. You know, we do a lot of coached pushing with people that have epidurals and it's appropriate if they can't feel anything. But if they can feel it then we usually say, okay, wait for that contraction to build and then when you feel like you could push, then go ahead and use that force and then I love the visualization. I'm going to have to find that. I haven't read up on hypnobirthing but I have friends that have done it and really liked it. But it's funny because that's kind of similar to how I tell people to push, to kind of have that J formation that they're kind of thinking, cause the baby has to come down and out, it has to curve back against your sacrum and then come up and out.

Speaker 1: 38:02

When I'm pushing, if I'm in there for a while with a patient, I'll try to feel where the baby's head is in the body and I'll say, okay, now you need to push down, and then when the baby comes down and up and pops underneath the pubic bone, then we'll be ready and that always, that always helps. But I really like that J visualization. I'll have to get that and have my patients read that, cause I think another visualization I do is, I'll say, envision your pubic bone to your belly button and just try to curl around that space and shorten it, but really focus on that being your power. That's where you're pushing, but also your baby's head has to come down and out. So as far as coach pushing, those are the things that I say.

Speaker 1: 38:41

But unless they just have no proprioception at that point, then I might say, okay, take a deep breath, blow out a little and then push at this time because I can feel the contraction. There's so much that our bodies can tell us and if you're in tune with your body, it's so much better to just go with what mom's feeling. So was there anything else that you wanted to talk about that you did such a good job of covering everything that I normally have moms cover in their birth story. The only thing I didn't ask, I guess, is the postpartum experience other than the breastfeeding. In that career change, I guess, how did that look for you? Did you go back to your old job for a little?

Speaker 2: 39:20

bit no. So I live in Canada and that meant with the job that I had, I had the opportunity to have 12 months on maternity leave.

Speaker 2: 39:31

I just barely made it, though. The way that the social security works is you have to have a certain number of hours work for that employer before you can take advantage of the maternity leave, and I was able to just come in over the amount of hours needed, and I had to actually push them for it. Otherwise we were looking at zero income from well, just my head would be just my head. So the mat leave was in place, but that job was just a contract position that I was doing something in nutrition. So my first career was in nutrition, in the health and wellness industry. I spent time working for health food stores and supplements, and at that point when I left, I was in an education role for a supplement company and it was just a contract. There was no guarantee that the job even existed. So I kind of already had this idea of like, I have to find something else anyways, but I have a year to figure that out. And then where we lived was very far away from family. We had actually recently moved because of my husband's job and we were a five hour drive from family, so I was doing the postpartum period alone. We were in a brand new city, brand new neighbors. Our family wasn't there. My husband took a vacation time for one week, then he went back to work, so it was me and our baby 24, seven and it was.

Speaker 2: 40:47

It was really hard. I was again. I thought I prepared and I really wasn't. It was exhausting, emotionally, really difficult. Then add on breastfeeding challenges. I mean my physical recovery was pretty easy because I there were no major complications from my vaginal delivery. I didn't even have a tear, I had like a scrape. They called it very simple, like we filled up real quick, so I didn't have any challenges there. It was more just about physically being a mom. My body needed to feed my baby and you know we were having a hard time. And then the sort of isolation and postpartum and breastfeeding is already isolating, but then to physically be isolated from family, and then I should add, four months after I gave birth was March 2020. So then that adds more isolation. Everything was in full on lockdown and we weren't going to see anyone, which is also how that opportunity to start my school, the education portion for lactation, came up, because the course, that part, was going to run online and I was like well, we're at home anyways.

Speaker 2: 41:57

So, yeah, it was always this I had in the back of my mind I had to find another job anyways. And then it was like this is what it's going to be. And honestly, in my old career I know that this is like a little off topic, but I would have this like little voice in my head. That was like like when you have a baby, you'll have the answer. And he said how am I supposed to know what I'm supposed to do with my life when I have a baby? That's years away.

Speaker 2: 42:18

And then it all happened and I was like, oh my gosh, yeah, the course of events yeah, that's so.

Speaker 1: 42:24

Yeah, that's another maternal instinct. You know what you do. That's so amazing.

Speaker 2: 42:29

Was there anything else that we didn't touch on that?

Speaker 1: 42:31

you wanted to talk about. I don't think so. Okay, well, thank you so much. That was so interesting. I just I love how you managed to figure it out and turn it into a whole career and anybody that wants to contact you it's motherhoodbloomslactationcom. Now can people that are not in Canada contact you and work with you as well. Yes, yeah, amazing, the work, the work, awesome. Thank you so much, thank you.