Dive into the enthralling world of motherhood with Marie Carle, labor and delivery nurse, as she pulls back the curtain on her personal journey through pregnancy, delivery, and raising children. Marie, a mom to three daughters, brings a unique perspective to the table as she harmoniously merges her professional insights with her personal experiences. From managing gestational diabetes to navigating morning sickness, Marie's story is a testament to the power of resilience, intuition, and the love of a mother.
Stepping onto the labor and delivery floor, we delve into the intricacies of labor support and pain management. Being the child of two anesthesiologists, she has a unique insight into the anesthesia world, which she brings into her practice as a labor and delivery nurse. We discuss the role of partners in managing labor pain, the techniques employed in France, and the critical importance of pain management, particularly for patients who choose not to have an epidural.
Our conversation takes a historical turn as Marie recounts riveting tales from her family history, her parents' Caribbean adventure (Marie made a surpri
Want me as your birth coach? You got it!
I will help you:
☑️identify the source of anxiety you have surrounding birth.
☑️fill in knowledge gaps to make sure that you are fully informed and confident.
☑️learn key phrases so you can better communicate with your medical team.
☑️emotionally process your fears so that they don’t hold power over you
Go to kellyhof.com to book a free 30 minute birth vision call.
Medical Disclaimer: This podcast is intended as a safe space for women to share their birth experiences. It is not intended to provide medical advice. Each woman’s medical course of action is individual and may not appropriately transfer to another similar situation. Please speak to your medical provider before making any medical decisions. Additionally, it is important to keep in mind that evidence based practice evolves as our knowledge of science improves. To the best of my ability I will attempt to present the most current ACOG and AWHONN recommendations at the time the podcast is recorded, but that may not necessarily reflect the best practices at the time the podcast is heard. Additionally, guests sharing their stories have the right to autonomy in their medical decisions, and may share their choice to go against current practice recommendations. I intend to hold space for people to share their decisions. I will attempt to share the current recommendations so that my audience is informed, but it is up to each individual to choose what is best for them.
Dive into the enthralling world of motherhood with Marie Carle, labor and delivery nurse, as she pulls back the curtain on her personal journey through pregnancy, delivery, and raising children. Marie, a mom to three daughters, brings a unique perspective to the table as she harmoniously merges her professional insights with her personal experiences. From managing gestational diabetes to navigating morning sickness, Marie's story is a testament to the power of resilience, intuition, and the love of a mother.
Stepping onto the labor and delivery floor, we delve into the intricacies of labor support and pain management. Being the child of two anesthesiologists, she has a unique insight into the anesthesia world, which she brings into her practice as a labor and delivery nurse. We discuss the role of partners in managing labor pain, the techniques employed in France, and the critical importance of pain management, particularly for patients who choose not to have an epidural.
Our conversation takes a historical turn as Marie recounts riveting tales from her family history, her parents' Caribbean adventure (Marie made a surpri
Want me as your birth coach? You got it!
I will help you:
☑️identify the source of anxiety you have surrounding birth.
☑️fill in knowledge gaps to make sure that you are fully informed and confident.
☑️learn key phrases so you can better communicate with your medical team.
☑️emotionally process your fears so that they don’t hold power over you
Go to kellyhof.com to book a free 30 minute birth vision call.
Medical Disclaimer: This podcast is intended as a safe space for women to share their birth experiences. It is not intended to provide medical advice. Each woman’s medical course of action is individual and may not appropriately transfer to another similar situation. Please speak to your medical provider before making any medical decisions. Additionally, it is important to keep in mind that evidence based practice evolves as our knowledge of science improves. To the best of my ability I will attempt to present the most current ACOG and AWHONN recommendations at the time the podcast is recorded, but that may not necessarily reflect the best practices at the time the podcast is heard. Additionally, guests sharing their stories have the right to autonomy in their medical decisions, and may share their choice to go against current practice recommendations. I intend to hold space for people to share their decisions. I will attempt to share the current recommendations so that my audience is informed, but it is up to each individual to choose what is best for them.
Speaker 1:
Hello, today I have with me Marie Karl. Marie is the mother of three, and when she delivered her babies she had a career in marketing, where she worked for 20 years, and then she became a labor and delivery nurse. Today, marie is here to share her birth stories. She delivered her babies before she became a labor and delivery nurse, which means that now she is able to reflect on those experiences with additional insight. Marie, welcome and thank you for joining me. Hi Kelly, how are you?
Speaker 2:
I'm so happy to be with you today.
Speaker 1:
We've been trying to do this for months. It's hard for nurses to find time to do stuff outside of nursing when they're not both working. And mommy is yes. Yes, that too, that is very important. Yeah, well, I'm excited to hear the full story because you gave me like a little Cliffs Notes version when we were talking earlier, and I'm really excited because it's pretty dramatic. So I'm going to let you go ahead. You want to know everything.
Speaker 2:
Everything.
Speaker 1:
All the juicy details how is your pregnancy and your postpartum, the delivery, of course, and all the things that you learned.
Speaker 2:
Okay well, first of all, for me, being pregnant and being a mom was really, really important from the get go. I see something I was thinking of ever since I was a little girl that was very, very important to me. When I see women these days, you know they are in their 30s and 40s and this is when they're starting to think about it. It was not me. I was very much interested in doing that Early on. I wanted to be a young mom and I got married early and my first daughter was born when I was 23. I had another one three years later and then my third was born two and a half years after that. So I have my three daughters Now. They are 19, 21, and 24.
Speaker 2:
The last one actually left the nest two days ago. I left her in San Diego and it was heart-wrenching for me, and so I don't have my babies with me anymore. I think I'm glad to be a labor and delivery nurse because I get to play with other people's babies, but they're still not mine anymore. So that's sad. But as far as being pregnant and all that, I don't know if it's because I was so young that it was so easy for me. If I'm just lucky. I'm just a baby machine, you know, but I became pregnant easily.
Speaker 2:
Every time I thought about it I found out that I was already pregnant. I had super easy pregnancies, except my second one who made it a little bit more difficult for me, and I'll get into that. And then the deliveries, oh my god, they were the easiest part of the whole thing. So did I tell you that part? I can't recall. So basically, my first one, lulu, I was induced at seven in the morning and she was born at 1030 in the morning, so three and a half hours later my second one was induced again at seven in the morning and she was born at 930, and the third took the longest.
Speaker 2:
So the third, you know, I was expecting it to be the same, because to me, yeah, you go to the hospital and two and a half hours, three and a half hours later, you have a baby. That's what I thought labor and delivery was like for everybody, and so she took her time. They were very bold decelerations which showed that there was an issue with the cord and we had to stop pitocin for a while. And instead of being born like her sisters in the morning, she was born at 315 in the afternoon. So to me that was such a long delivery. I was like what's going on with this? Kid you, poor thing.
Speaker 2:
That's a normal third baby delivery I know, I agree.
Speaker 2:
And then when I became an energy nurse and I realized that those poor women were in the neighbor for two days and I was like, oh my God, I was so lucky. I had no idea, no idea. So, as a summary of my labor and pregnancies, that's what I can give you in a nutshell. But it was easy for me. I was extremely lucky to the point where I was hoping. I really wanted to give that gift to someone who was not able to have babies and unfortunately, the man I was married to at the time, who is the father of my children he's going to listen to that. Ooh, I'm scared now. He said that he did not want me to do that and that's one of my big regrets because I thought, you know, it's so easy for me. I really want to do that for someone, but I was not able to.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so then OK. So your pregnancies? I mean you were in your 20s, so yeah, I know. So that helps Immensely. Yes, so your pregnancies were relatively easy. Did you have any morning sickness or any annoying symptoms or anything? I did?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I did for all three, and so every time I thought that, yeah, they were girls because my pregnancies were very, very similar. But what worked for me? Because I was sick and my mom had been sick with me, very, very sick, like she had hyper-emesis gravidarum, and so that was very dramatic for her and part of her pregnancy she, when she was done, you know, when she had me she was thinner than before being pregnant and so I was afraid to have the same thing and I realized that somebody gave me a good trick and it works for me almost immediately. It was to eat a raw apple in the morning, so in my bed, so I would sleep with an apple next to my bed and that's the first thing I would eat before even getting up or taking my head off the pillow, because it settled my nausea. It works for me very, very well.
Speaker 1:
I wish somebody had told me that. Not sure if it would have worked, but I feel like I threw up every single time, like I stood up and I really I mean, I wonder, I think it has to do a little bit with like the what is it? Orthostatic hypotension. Yeah, Like with your blood pressure drops, Because sometimes I would stand up and I would just like have to lay back down because I was going to pass out.
Speaker 1:
But yeah, that's interesting, to stabilize your blood sugar. And then the only thing left is your blood pressure. Yeah, that needs to be stabilized, but you don't have both fighting against you. So what was the reason that you needed to be induced? And then, how many weeks were you when you got induced?
Speaker 2:
Okay, so for the first one I was induced at 37 weeks, the second one at 38 and the third at 39. You know it was 20, 20 some years ago and I guess it was okay to do that then. It would not be done now, yeah.
Speaker 2:
You know, because those pregnancies were very normal. But for my first I had three weeks of contractions, night and day, and I was exhausted to the point where I went to see my OB and I begged him for an induction because I was like I am going to be so exhausted by the time my baby is born because I cannot sleep. And so he said you know what? That's a good reason, that's an issue.
Speaker 1:
I wonder what ACOG would say about that today. I think no, that's a good reason. That's funny. They would never. And then what did they do to induce you? Were you already like dilating when you were?
Speaker 2:
contracting. Every time I was already three centimeters, so I started with spit immediately, yeah, and so within an hour I was in excruciating pain and I begged for the epidural and they were like what you just arrived? I don't want an epidural now, that's funny. So I got it and they were very surprised when the baby was born so rapidly and they were like, oh, thank God, we gave you the epidural.
Speaker 1:
Oh for sure, yeah, did they break your water?
Speaker 2:
I recall that for the first. I don't recall for the other two, I don't know, yeah, ok.
Speaker 1:
So then, when you got your epidural, how long after, at least for the first, how long after did you deliver?
Speaker 2:
Maybe a half hour, because.
Speaker 1:
I think folks at home listening. This is not normal. It's not normal. Please do not adjust your expectations to Marie's experience You're making.
Speaker 2:
your want to cancel me right now. Maybe you don't want to. I just can't put you out.
Speaker 1:
I mean, everybody has their own experience, but I definitely don't want this to be the expectation.
Speaker 2:
No, because you're a unicorn.
Speaker 1:
You're a unicorn at so many levels, so I remember you had mentioned something about a hurricane. When did that occur?
Speaker 2:
Oh, so that was my third.
Speaker 1:
Oh OK.
Speaker 2:
My third. So she was born August 25th and there were three hurricanes surrounding her birth. I want to say only the 22nd, the 24th and the 27th were the three hurricanes. And I was watching TV and I remember seeing all these women who were delivering in shelters, you know, with absolutely no medical help Because the babies were coming and they were in shelters and that's, you know, in the middle of thousands of people screaming and I was like I don't want to deliver in a shelter. I was so scared.
Speaker 2:
And anyway, she was born on the 25th, so that we were OK on that front and we had boarded up the house because it was in Florida and so it was dangerous and we could get a tree through a branch or something, any type of projectile through the window, and so we had to protect those windows from that, and so we had protected the house before going to the hospital. And then she was born and we came back home the next day, so the 26th, just in time before the third hurricane. Well, that night we lost power and it was 100 degrees plus in the house with absolutely no air coming through because all the windows were boarded up. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:
So being at home with two little girls and a newborn, today's postpartum was no fun at all. We had two bath stubs and we had to shut them up with water because we knew that the only water we would get for it. We didn't know how long. When we came out of the house, the trees were everywhere on the road and there was no way for us to actually get out. So it was a good thing we had water, but that was something else, and I remember being lost in the middle of the night, in the dark, and telling my husband I can't find my boobs. I was like come on, that's the one thing you should be able to find, it's on you.
Speaker 1:
And did you say honey? I know you can find them. Can you help?
Speaker 2:
me please.
Speaker 1:
Oh, anyway, it's hard to feed your baby when you can't find your boobs. That's rough.
Speaker 2:
But yeah, it was all in the dark. So I guess I was glad that it was my third because at least I had some experience. I cannot imagine having that with my first being in the dark like that?
Speaker 1:
Yeah, that would be terrifying. And then so, other than not being able to find your boobs, how was postpartum for you with all three of them? Did you have any significant issues or any difficulties?
Speaker 2:
So I guess also because it was 20 years ago and in Florida the trend then was an episiotomy, no matter what. So I had three abortions. I can tell you, because I had three of those, that they are not as bad as you can imagine. I've had two, so it's a straight cut and it's still there. But I had those doughnuts cushions to sit on because they don't do anymore. Yeah well, I think that's pretty bad. Why don't we?
Speaker 1:
do it? Well, because it puts pressure on the stitches, oh really, and it can cause them to open up, yeah, and it causes increased swelling. They don't do them for hemorrhoids anymore. I don't think either. Or they only do it for a certain amount of time. Well, I like them at that time. I mean, they make you feel better because you don't have to initially sit on your wound.
Speaker 2:
What is very interesting is that for my first, they were not giving ice packs as a way to, as a way to heal, but for my second and my third, it had come up as something that was a good idea, and what a difference it did in the healing process.
Speaker 1:
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:
And so you know now, when I have patients and I always tell them Ice is your best friend, it's going to make the whole difference for you, because I know that from my first. I didn't have it, and how it helped you know. For the other two, but postpartum was okay, I thought that breastfeeding was extremely difficult. I really, really had a hard time. I am French, as you can hear from my accent, and in France it's not something that's pushed as much as in the US to breastfeed, and so in my culture, you know, I was already not very much persuaded. You know that it was the way to go. So but I knew that it was good, you know, for the baby. So I was like, okay, let's do it. So I breastfed my first for three months, because then I had to go back to work. So I you know it was difficult Then, like the pumps were really not working and it was bad. My second, I breastfed her for five and a half months and then I had to have my wisdom teeth pulled.
Speaker 2:
And that was interesting, an interesting conversation. My pediatrician told me you have to stop breastfeeding because everything that you know that they will use for anesthesia is going to go to your breast milk. So you must stop. My dentist and my doctor both told me to keep going because this way my daughter would be sleeping at the same time as me, because she would have some of the anesthesia and then this way we would both be sleeping at the same time and then, when you know, she was ready to eat. I would probably feel better by then and be ready to breastfeed her again. So two different approaches. I chose to stop breastfeeding because I thought she didn't want to give her anything bad like that.
Speaker 1:
I don't think either one of those things are really true. I mean, based on what we do in labor and delivery, you know, as far as anesthesia goes, I would imagine that the anesthesia that you would have for the dental would be somewhat similar. Yeah Right, I mean it's just a little bit of gas that comes out of your system and then you could breastfeed after that. I agree with you, but that's so interesting that I mean I remember back then when because I'm old too, I've been around a while- I remember when people used to say that and now we do stuff that's completely different, that's really funny.
Speaker 2:
And so on my third, I was like, okay, I'm going to breastfeed forever because I can and I have time, and so I breastfed her for a whole nine months.
Speaker 1:
Wow.
Speaker 2:
But I thought that it was difficult the whole time, I mean that's not a position for me that felt good.
Speaker 2:
I always felt pain, it was difficult, and then, for my third, my breast got engorged, and I don't know if it was because of the hurricane, all that and the fact that I couldn't find my boobs. That could be it. Maybe I didn't feed her as much as I needed, maybe she was also the smallest and so maybe she was not as strong as the other two. Anyhow, my breast got engorged. It hurt so, so bad. I remember taking warm, warm showers, trying to express some of my milk. What ended up working for me was the cabbage leaves, which were unbelievable, and I remember that my breasts were hot enough to actually cook them. Oh, my goodness, because they put them on and I removed them when they were cooked, like an hour later, and I was like, oh, I'm making cabbage soup, did you?
Speaker 1:
eat them? Did you fry an egg on your boobs after that? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:
But it took some of the swelling down and then she wouldn't be able to feed again.
Speaker 1:
Wow, my goodness. So when you had your babies, you were working in marketing. You said you went back with the first at three months. Yes, you finished breastfeeding at five months with the second because of your surgery, but had you gone back to work so I had.
Speaker 2:
But then I have an interesting story for the second one. Actually, when I became pregnant, I was halfway through to my MBA. So I had started my MBA, which was paid by my employer, and then I lost my job because they got rid of everybody in marketing and I lost my job. I was three months into my MBA. Wow, and one thing the one speech that we got at the beginning of the MBA because it was all young professionals, you know, taking the program.
Speaker 2:
It was a two year program at night and during the weekends for people who worked, and we were told you know, you're at this age where you may be thinking of having children, don't do it, because it's a two year, very intensive program. You're all working, don't do it. I was like I was laughing, you know, I had a two year old at the time. I was like, yeah, it's not happening to me. Three months later I was pregnant and then I lost my job. So I lost my job, I continued doing my MBA and my second daughter was born right in the middle of the MBA, now in January.
Speaker 2:
So it was December's program and because I had gestational diabetes with her and at the time it was also different. The way they did it is that they gave you a calorie counter and they were like okay, you need to stop there. They tried to kill me, I think, because they told me to eat 1500 calories a day, which was really not enough. The good thing about it is that I stopped gaining weight in September. She was born end of January and I stopped gaining weight in September and my belly was growing, my butt was becoming smaller and I came out of there and my jeans were falling off of me when I came out of the hospital. But that's the reason why I was able to breastfeed her for longer, because at the time I was just going to school and not working. So, to enter that, when my third was born, I was not working. I was taking a break because I wanted to focus on the kids.
Speaker 1:
That's amazing that you can do that. That does help with breastfeeding too. So then, when you were doing your 1500 calories a day, which guys don't do that that's not recommended, and I guess I'm just wondering, because I know how nauseous I would get if I didn't eat how did you manage that? So?
Speaker 2:
I would eat little portions all day long. I think that's what was working for me, because otherwise I was not eating all the time as well but often I managed to be under my 1500 and then I would finish with ice cream for the day. That's my little pleasure. I was not too bad as far as I was hungry. I was really hungry, but I did manage my diabetes beautifully, my gestational diabetes beautifully. But as soon as she was born, I had no knowledge of all that. So I thought that I was diabetic for good. And so when they brought me the menu at the hospital, they were like, what would you like? And I said well, what is recommended for me because I'm in gestational diabetic? And she goes no, Ani, you're done with that. Your baby is born, you can have whatever you want. I said whatever I want and I ordered five desserts.
Speaker 1:
That's good. So I just took a class. There's a class that we take every six months at the other hospital I work at and they're talking about the first 48 hours. Even if you're gestational diabetic, you're more than likely going to have normal blood sugar levels. And then if you have to tweak your insulin because you're diabetic before, then, they start figuring that out. But there's kind of like a honeymoon period. That would have been the perfect time to do that.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I'm so glad I did the right thing.
Speaker 1:
Also not recommending that, but I do you. I think everybody does a little bit of a celebratory eating after delivery. I mean, my husband go to Wendy's and get a bunch of junior bacon cheeseburgers and he basically brought me a bag of junior bacon cheeseburgers and I think I had one or two and then gave the rest to the nurses. But yeah, everybody deserves to have their celebratory meal after they deliver. And so, did you have any issues? How did you, did you feel supported after you deliver? Did you have, like, family come? How did that look for you Like, as you know, having a career or being in school?
Speaker 2:
So my mom came over from France for my first after she was born. She missed the delivery and then, after she left, I found a fantastic nanny. She was 78 and she had children and she was the most dynamic 78 year old I had met. She was on the floor playing with my daughter. She was so cute and she had a little book and she wrote absolutely everything that she was doing. So when I still have it, I love it, and every time I came home from work she would read her book, you know, to make sure she had not forgotten anything. So today we read this and today we did this, and we went to the beach and we did this, and so it was wonderful.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, cause they didn't have smartphones back then, right?
Speaker 2:
No.
Speaker 1:
So it couldn't be something fake. And how my nanny sends me photos.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, no, she did not have a phone that took pictures for sure. So then for my second, my mother in law came, because my mom was not able to come, and then for my third, my mom came.
Speaker 1:
So did you have the?
Speaker 2:
nanny throughout, or was it just for the first one? Then, later on, when they were older, I had a Thai nanny who was an upair and she was wonderful and we're still friends to this day and now we are little twin girls and it's so cute. You know she's still part of the family, but, yeah, she helped with doing a lot of things and when, often, when I came home exhausted after work, she had made dinner like a Thai dinner. Oh my God, awesome.
Speaker 1:
Oh, that sounds amazing. I just think it's so important to have that good support system after you deliver and you know somebody that is able to care for your children as well as you care for them when you go to work, because it's so stressful to leave your babies and then so, now that you're a labor and delivery nurse and you've had time to reflect on your experiences, what are some of the things that come up for you that you you know? You see what we're doing now, and either what wisdom do you give to moms when you are being a labor and delivery nurse, or what things do you wish that you could have done differently?
Speaker 2:
or both. Well, I think because, because my inductions were so successful, you know, I don't wish that anything would have been done differently, but you know, I guess it would have been cool to have my labor start naturally, and then, you know, we know how it would have been. I'm not sure I'm answering your question, but I'm also the daughter of two anesthesiologists and so for me an epidural is almost essential, because I did not grow up with pain. Every time I had pain somewhere, they were there for me to do something about it, and my dad was also one of the first anesthesiologists to actually practice the epidural in the late 60s, early 70s. So I am very, very aware of the pain that comes with labor and I'm always helping my patients with that. This is really my priority. Whether they choose a natural childbirth or a delivery with an epidural, to me their pain control is really, really, really my priority, always, I think, because it was so important to me as well to make sure that this was in check.
Speaker 1:
So then, how does your background, with your family being anesthesiologists and I don't know if I want to say pain control, but pain management? I think, because I think part of what anesthesia does is that they don't just medicate. I think that they practice helping the whole person manage their pain. How does that come into playing your practice? How do you feel like that has helped you and what kinds of things do you do, especially if your patient isn't ready for an epidural, decided that they don't want one?
Speaker 2:
So I feel like in the whole process, very often the partners feel like they are useless and they are dealing with the pain of the laboring patient with so much pain themselves. They're very, very frustrated because they're not able to help, and so I often give them a job, I teach them how to do counter pressure, and if the laboring patient is sitting on a ball, then I place the dab strategically on the chair behind her and I said, look, this is what you're going to do and I demonstrate. And then he does it, and very often the woman is like, okay, no, I liked it better when Marie did it. So I'm like, okay, I need more training for you, listen to me, do it this way. So we just make it work.
Speaker 2:
And we also change positions all the time, because very often we realize by changing position that some of the contractions are not felt the same way, and so we try to find positions that work better. So between dad's and counter pressure and sometimes dancing, belly dancing, I felt that helps a lot. So if you pop into my room, sometimes you'll see people belly dancing to the sound of Shakira or whatever, so that, I think, puts their mind someplace else on fun, you know, and that makes them, at least at the beginning of labor, makes the contractions feel a little bit less intense.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I'm going to come in and try to see some of your belly dancing strategies, because I don't know that I've done. I've actually gone as far as Shakira for pain management, but I really like that. So next time you do that, if I'm on shift with you, come at me.
Speaker 2:
I want to see that.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, the Shakira method that's awesome. I know that when we talked a couple of times before we managed to actually have a successful scheduling of this episode, you had talked about how the method that is utilized in France for delivering babies vaginally, that there are some techniques that are just a little bit different and that they have a very low C-section rate. I was wondering if you could elaborate on that a little bit or let me know what you do know as far as how they're doing that, but I know because I don't know much.
Speaker 2:
As you know, I became a nurse here, so I have not worked there, so take it with a grain of salt. But I do have. One of my mom's best friend is actually an anesthesiologist in a labor center in Paris, and so I get a lot of my input from her. What she explains is that the laboring down process is a lot longer in France than it is here, so we allow the babies to come a lot lower in the pelvis before we start pushing, and so the women there are expected to push 30 minutes or less. So that's my expectation. That's the goal. I know, I know.
Speaker 2:
However, this is not what happens. You know it as well as I do. You know sometimes we push for hours on end and it's not good for the pelvic floor and the life of you know this particular pelvic floor in the future, because it's going to create all kinds of issues. But this is what the doctors are asking us to do here, so we must follow that. But I think it's something to be taken into consideration to make this laboring down process a lot longer than it is, so that we can lower the C-section rate and increase the rate of vaginal deterioration. Yeah, successful.
Speaker 1:
And I think both of you and I have similar expectations when it comes to pushing. So there's a lot that we do before that laboring down process even begins to try to avoid the pushing for three to four hours, and I think probably you would agree that if you and I are pushing with somebody for over an hour or so, something else is going on. Yeah, right.
Speaker 1:
So, we're going to be doing a lot of different interventions to try to. Probably most of the time it's the baby's position, but in those rare occasions it could be the corridor, it could be the size or yeah, you know something like that. Yeah, we had the prize the other day.
Speaker 2:
Definitely we were expecting the baby to be not too big, but there was no way this baby was coming out. And after two and a half hours of pushing, actually the doctor was working with came up to the patient and said if you were pushing with somebody else I would say let's give it another half hour an hour, but you're pushing with Marie, so I'm advising. At C-section I was like, oh, we should have done that.
Speaker 1:
This should have happened by now. Yeah, it should have happened. And was that baby huge when I came out? Yeah, 10 pounds. Oh my goodness. Yes, that was the one.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I remember I was there and you're like, so I was like yeah you know there's no pressure you could have done, so that would fit for everybody.
Speaker 1:
Oh yeah, that's rough. I usually ask if you could go back and talk to yourself at the beginning of this process, when you decided to have children, or any crucial part during that process that you felt like you could have benefited from your sage advice. From where you are in life now, what would you go back and tell yourself?
Speaker 2:
Probably to rest a lot more than I did, because I was the typical young mom wanting to do everything when my kids were sleeping, you know, trying to do the laundry and make the house look impeccable, things that really don't matter, because who cares Really? Who cares? You're going to be a lot more efficient, a lot more fun, a lot more pleasant for anyone in your environment if you're rested. Yeah, absolutely so. Who cares if you feel a little bit dirty, you know?
Speaker 1:
So that sleep and the baby sleeps, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2:
Also listen to yourself. Stop listening to everybody who wants to give you advice. Seriously listen to yourself, because I think listening to your guts is what gets you where you're supposed to be. Very often I took my kids to the pediatrician or everybody around me was like she's fine, and then there was really something going on, you know, because I could feel it right here and I was like there is something. I think a lot of people tend to give advice and they're not always welcome and they're not always true, and so I think listening to yourself is the most important thing you can do as a parent and learn to say I'm sorry very early on, because you're going to mess up, because we're human, and by saying sorry you're not demeaning yourself. You're actually showing your kids how important it is to say I'm sorry, so you're teaching them something along the way.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, I agree. So I'm a little curious when you say that your father was one of the first anesthesiologists to do epidurals. Yeah, did he work in Lieber.
Speaker 2:
No, so he did, but that was not the origin of that. They was have you heard of General de Gaulle?
Speaker 1:
Maybe, if I saw it written, because if I see it written, I'm not going to pronounce it like that.
Speaker 2:
He was a very famous French president and we needed to have major surgery and they weren't sure how his heart was going to react to the anesthesia, and so he got one of the first epidurals done in France, and so it was, of course, they talked about it a lot.
Speaker 2:
You know how he was completely awake during his major surgery and how it was so impressive. And so my dad heard about that and, being an anesthesiologist himself, he was like yeah, you know, I need to learn that, absolutely need to learn that French people were French doctors, were not doing it. So he went to Belgium where they were teaching the technique, and he learned it and brought it back in France and you know he used it ever since. So he was one of the main physicians who knew how to do that, and he was sent in many different hospitals in France to teach it. And then I think it was in 72. Yeah, in 72, he was actually invited with my mom they were not married yet, but with my mom they were invited to a hospital in New York to also teach technique, and so At hospital.
Speaker 1:
Huh, do you know? At hospital.
Speaker 2:
I don't know it on top of my head, but I have all the paperwork that my mom actually brought me recently that shows the letter of invitation and then the letter at the end that says thank you for all your help and all that and that's that. Was pretty emotional when I saw that my dad passed away four years ago and so I had not seen these papers and my mom brought them to me recently, so I can tell you that later.
Speaker 1:
It's so interesting to me because I know that I've worked at at least one hospital that in the area was one of the first to use the epidural and so I think I remember the other hospital that I worked at in New York was one of the first to use. So I wondered who went to the hospital I was working. Now hospitals in New York merged and changed names and all that stuff, so it might be it might be named differently, and because I can't remember when it merged, I really think it's so cool to find out the history of some of these procedures.
Speaker 2:
But so I don't think I told you I was born in the Caribbean completely by chance, because what happened was that my parents had put their names on a list of people to be sent, of doctors and nurses to be sent anywhere in the world where there was a need. So they wanted to do some volunteering, you know, and they were sent to. My mom was 37, 38 weeks pregnant with me when they got the call saying you're leaving in two days to Dominica, and so they packed up and they went and she was 38 weeks pregnant. That's crazy. But she always said you know what?
Speaker 2:
I felt safe because I was with your dad and I knew you could give me an epidural. So my dad left with a little suitcase and he told my mom you know what, even if I have to give it to you in the airplane, I will. He had to invert new babies in his life, you know, and he was like I can do that, but you'll have an epidural. So we arrived in this little island in the middle of the Caribbean, between Martinique and Guadalupe, completely lost, was a British island, and my dad gave my mom an epidural there. What he delivered, you Were you with it in a hospital. There was another doctor there who delivered me.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, oh my gosh, that's amazing. And then what? Did they just stay and like take care of other patients while your mom was like yeah, or did your mom just like pack you and like no, my mom stayed there and the entire island came to see me because I was the first white baby to be born on the island.
Speaker 2:
So everybody came to see the white baby. Oh, my goodness, you know there were no private rooms, it was just two curtains, and so we'll just pull the curtain. Look at me, we'll go.
Speaker 1:
Wow, I don't know what language they speak in In Dominican.
Speaker 2:
In English.
Speaker 1:
They do Okay, and do your parents speak English too? Yeah, wow, that's so funny. Well, marita, this is fascinating. Do you have any other fun stories that are birth related about your family?
Speaker 2:
I don't think so. Well, no, I do. My brother has triplets. My brother has triplets, oh wow, yeah, they are turning 30 this year. So oh my gosh, yeah, where were they born? They were born in France. So basically, the easiness I had to become pregnant was the opposite for my poor sister in law.
Speaker 2:
She did nine in vitro fertilization rounds and it was crazy, nothing was working. And the ninth one actually worked. They were she had given up. She was like I'm never going to be pregnant. They had decided to go adopt a little girl in Peru. They were ready, they had their plane tickets and they were going to leave in two months. And she was pregnant with the triplets.
Speaker 1:
Did they also adopt the baby?
Speaker 2:
They did not. They did not, they were already on, so yeah. But yeah.
Speaker 1:
So Wow Well, is there anything else that we didn't cover that you wanted to talk about? No, no, I don't think so, we don't think so, okay, but we haven't had a chance to say soccer. I want to hear you say it Soccer. Yeah, okay, so I said it wrong. I'll work on it, I don't mind. Well, marie, thank you so much. I love hearing about all your fun stories and all the history and the hurricane. Yeah, you're very welcome.
