Amy Frost's Journey Through Motherhood: Unmedicated Birth, Postpartum Realities, and the Growth of Babycito

Feel the warmth and wisdom as Amy Frost, the inspiring co-founder of Baby Cito and a peri-natal yoga teacher, unfolds the tapestry of her motherhood journey with us. With the intimate details of her first child's winter solstice birth, Amy captures the essence of labor's uncertainty and the profound joy found in an unmedicated delivery. Her candid narrative not only sheds light on the physical sensations of childbirth but also navigates through the induction process with a clarity that's as refreshing as it is educational. Amy's story is a testament to the unpredictable dance of entering motherhood.

Venture further into the delicate postpartum period where Amy bravely addresses the challenges that often remain whispered. Our conversation delves into the critical need for preparation and understanding to create a buffer against postpartum anxiety. Amy's personal recount of the support she received, from her partner's hands-on techniques during labor to acknowledging and treating perinatal mood disorders, is a powerful reminder of the strength found in vulnerability. Listeners are invited to absorb these invaluable lessons, recognizing the common yet often overlooked aspects of the postpartum experience.

As our dialogue evolves, we celebrate the redemptive power of community and foresight in Amy's subsequent childbirth experience. Learn how a proactive approach, encompassing postpartum doulas to lactation consultants, transformed Amy's second journey into one of empowerment. Baby Cito, her brainchild, emerges as a beacon of support for mothers seeking assistance, demonstrating its tremendous potential for growth. Amy's reflections on her tale's retelling are imbued with gratitude, inviting us to witness the impact of support systems that extend beyond one family and ripple throughout communities nationwide.

Connect with Amy at babycito.co

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:29

Hello, today I have with me Amy Frost. Amy is the co-founder of Baby Cito and a Peri-Natal Yoga teacher. She is a mom of two girls and she's here to share her birth story with us and how she helped form Baby Cito, the company that helps connect new moms with businesses that help with all things motherhood. Amy, welcome and thank you for joining me. Thank you, kelly, I'm excited to be here. Yeah, I'm so excited to hear your story.

Speaker 2: 0:58

Yes, so I'll start with my first Molly. She is my winter solstice baby and I took all these classes because I really wanted to, you know, understand the birth process and I was very nervous my first child. I wasn't sure what to expect. So I had taken a six-week childbirth education class and it was really helpful, but also it sort of leaned toward an unmedicated birth, which was fine. I had that idea in my mind, but I wasn't really sure that I needed to do that. You know what I mean. So I like options and so I sort of, you know, blocked some of those parts out of my mind, knowing that I want to go that route. Great, if I don't, that's okay too. And so I was really wanting to have like I don't know, is it called spontaneous labor? I really wanted like my water to break. I wanted to have that whole experience that you think always happens Could you see it on TV shows and movies? And I was really disappointed when I found out that I had low fluid. I had to get monitored. I think it was like every other day I was monitored to check my fluids and I went in and they essentially didn't let me leave. They were like they're too low, you have to have the baby today. And I was devastated because I was like no, you know, I wanted to have this experience of, you know, my water break-in and going to the hospital. And I didn't have any of my stuff. I left work to go to the appointment and now they're like you have to have your baby today. So, of course, I called my husband and I was very upset and I was like you have to bring my bag, they're not letting you leave.

Speaker 2: 2:51

And I was induced and this is December 21st 2018. And I knew it was the winter solstice and I was. I was excited about that. I was trying to find the silver lining. I was like, oh, it's the winter solstice, I'm going to have a winter solstice baby. And I was so excited. After I got over to the devastation part, I was like really upset, and I was like, wait a minute, it's the winter solstice, this is going to be really great. I'm trying to find the positive. And I went in, I got induced and the nurse was basically like you know, you're going to be here for a while, like baby's not coming today. And I'm like what, what do you mean? You know, like I don't want to, I don't want to be induced, and and so I get excited, I get to have my winter solstice baby. And then you're saying I won't you know. And so anyway, I was induced and it actually ended up kicking in fairly quickly, which I guess is not very common from what I understand, and it all started just happening.

Speaker 2: 3:49

I dilated very quickly and my birth I gave birth in six hours, which the funniest thing about it is there's a clock on the wall in the room and so I knew what time it was the whole time and I was watching that clock because it was like 11 pm and I'm like I'm getting her out. You know, I'm going to get her out before midnight because I want this baby to be born today. And I ended up having a non-medicated birth, but mostly because it moved so quickly and there was still time to get the epidural. But my midwife, she was like so sweet and she was in my ear and she was like you know, we can do whatever you want, but your baby's gonna be born very soon. You're not essentially like we're not gonna be in this for much longer. And she's like you can do this. And I was like okay, and so I did. And it was incredible and I'll never forget it. I still remember how she felt when she like dropped down and I remember thinking it felt this is a weird analogy, but my husband and I are bowlers and I said it feels like a big bowling mod, just like dropped down to my pelvis, and it was incredible. Yeah, it was, it was. It ended up being this beautiful birth at the end.

Speaker 2: 5:07

It didn't really start off the way that I wanted to, but it ended up kind of some of the things that I wanted to happen worked out right. So I got to have my unmedicated birth. I got to have my winter solstice Maybe. She was born at like 1148 PM. It was like perfect timing and it was. It was really. It was a positive experience for me in terms of the birth. Postpartum was challenging. I don't know if you want me to kind of talk about that too.

Speaker 1: 5:35

Yeah, absolutely. I do have a couple of questions. Do what was the induction method that they used?

Speaker 2: 5:39

I believe it was pitocin. It was a pill, I guess.

Speaker 1: 5:42

Oh, the pill that? That that's the side attack of mesoprostol. Yeah, I took a. Yeah, we took a pill, I remember, and you only just had to do one, cause you said like six hours, usually we do one every six hours. Oh, yeah, I just took one. Wow, that's cause the pitocin is titrated on your IV, so they probably didn't even need the pitocin.

Speaker 2: 6:01

Yeah, I guess I didn't. So then I had the other thing. I didn't know, yeah, I didn't know what it was called, but yeah, and then I was thinking, you know, maybe my body was ready, maybe if I didn't get induced I probably would have gone into labor the next day or something. You know, it's kind of what I was thinking. And you know, interestingly, I think and this is how I remember it, right, and it's hard to know these things but my water broke in the when I was there. So I had taken the, I think I had taken the medicine. What was it?

Speaker 1: 6:31

Yeah, the side-detect is the easier way to say it.

Speaker 2: 6:34

Side-detect and I remember standing there feeling like something was like flowing. I'm signing paperwork, like if they had me doing paperwork, and I remember feeling like, oh my gosh, like something's happening and I think my water broke. It wasn't the way I envisioned it.

Speaker 1: 6:48

It never is.

Speaker 2: 6:50

Never.

Speaker 1: 6:50

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 6:51

So then you had mentioned that your birth class prepared you for a natural birth but didn't necessarily prepare you for the mindset of well, it's possible that they'll recommend an induction based on what they're seeing medically with you.

Speaker 1: 7:05

I like how you explained, how you reframed that, because I think that that's first of all. I wish that people were prepared for that part, I agree. So I want people to be prepared for the natural birth if that's what they want, especially because sometimes that happens, even if that's not what you want. And also I want people to know what might be happening in the hospital and the reason that they may be happening, that they may recommend that, because sometimes you're not necessarily, you're no longer medically qualified to be able to go into labor, and it's super important to know that and to be able to have that mindset going into it so that you don't have to suddenly find a way to do the mental gymnastics to reframe it. Yeah, because not all people are going to be in that frame of mind where they feel they may not be in that mindset where they can reframe it, and so to be able to have thought ahead of time would be ideal.

Speaker 2: 7:53

Yeah, I agree, I would have liked to have more information on that and just knowing what to expect. I mean, for me at least, it's all about expectations, and if I know what to expect, I feel better in the situation. I think a lot of people are like that. I feel less anxious, I'm less worried about things if I know.

Speaker 1: 8:14

You know pros, cons risks and you're entitled to know those things. We should have the autonomy to be able to understand what we're doing and why. So to know that ahead of time, rather than in the moment when it's stressful, is a lot easier, yeah.

Speaker 2: 8:27

And I did have some comfort. I felt very lucky in that the midwife was great, that was on staff the day, and my husband he's a psychiatrist. He went to medical school I think we've talked about this. He's delivered 10 or 15 babies and so I felt comfortable with him, like he was a really great support Having someone it's like almost like a duel in a way, having someone who sort of understood the process in a way that I didn't even watching the heart rate monitor machine.

Speaker 2: 8:56

You know, some of the nursing staff were making comments. I'm like what's that mean? And Eric can answer my question right away in a way that was thoughtful and in lay terms, you know, like for someone like me to understand. And so I felt lucky to have him there and I will say I learned in my birth class that you press the hips together right and you're contracting, and so I made him do that for six hours. I mean every single contraction. I was like I, so he got his workout and the funniest thing about it is afterward she's like oh my gosh, I'm exhausted. I was like what? I was like you're exhausted. I just pushed the baby out. But I remember him asking me throughout the birth Do you want me to do that hip thing again? And I remember saying stop asking. And every time I have a contraction yes, because I literally couldn't get through it without that Right, and also you can't talk anymore. Exactly, I was like stop talking. Yeah, stop asking questions.

Speaker 1: 11:37

You're asking me to come out of my zone. Every time you ask me that, just press the hips. I'll scream at you. When it's about that, we know when it's no. So then you mentioned postpartum. Wasn't spectacular what happened?

Speaker 2: 11:51

there. It was hard. We were living an hour and a half from his parents, across the country from mine, and we were a military family and so if we were in Colorado we hadn't been there for a long time, so I didn't really have a lot of friends and a lot of big support system there, and so I think that that, in part, is what made it hard, and I never was really diagnosed, but I definitely think I had baby blues. The sleep deprivation really got to me. I actually thought I was never going to sleep again Like I believed that and just little things, like I just wanted to have my coffee in the morning in peace, but I couldn't do that anymore and it felt like this huge deal that I couldn't have my coffee in peace anymore and I couldn't sleep.

Speaker 2: 12:42

And breastfeeding was very challenging for me. I knew about lactation consultants, but it didn't even occur to me to hire someone. I don't know why, but that was hard. Everything was challenging and I didn't do any postpartum preparation and that is something I learned when I had my second and what I really needed and I knew it was normal to have some sad feelings or to feel a little down, but I don't think I really understood how hard it could be and I also don't think I thought it could happen to me because I was so excited to have a baby. But it's just the hormones and everything.

Speaker 1: 13:22

But did it feel like depression? Or did it just feel Because I think, what postpartum mood and anxiety disorders? I just think that they present differently and I don't think that people are ready for it. Yeah, because you're happy that you have your baby, you love your baby, you may even be excited to get up in the morning and take care of your baby, regardless of how much sleep you did or did not get. But you find that your irritable, your boundaries are being pushed to the limit, like you just want some coffee. That's the only boundary that you wanted to set and nobody respected that and then just generally having that confusion and that brain fog where you get to a point where you tell yourself you're really never going to sleep again.

Speaker 1: 14:03

If you're in a space where you're mentally healthy, you can look at that and you can say, oh, that's not normal. And I want people to understand that it's not just depression. It doesn't have to have a label. If your mood is not normal in your postpartum period, that can be fixed Exactly. You can get help. That's perinatal mood and anxiety disorders and actually it's not even just postpartum. It can happen during pregnancy. So there are people that specialize in that that can help you. And I experienced something similar where I just wasn't myself. Things felt weird, they felt overwhelming, everything just felt harder than it needed to be. But I believe, looking back on it, a little bit of anxiety, a little bit of OCD, because I had some intrusive thoughts and some things that were just nagging on me and that I couldn't let go, and so I just think we can't say it enough. If you're a pregnant person or a postpartum person.

Speaker 1: 14:59

Those are the things to look out for. It's not necessarily extreme sadness, it's not necessarily the psychosis that people talk about. That is extremely rare. There is so much in between. That is your normal baseline and then the most extreme is way on the other end, and there's such a spectrum. So if you're anywhere on the spectrum where you don't feel normal, if you don't, if you just if you feel off, go find some help. Have somebody help you. Even your OB can help you.

Speaker 2: 15:25

Just get started. And some of the anxiety in your CV I definitely had, like the sleep. When she was sleeping I was constantly waking up to make sure she was still alive, just resting my hand on her stomach when she's breathing. And then there was a thread of hair, like a thread of my hair, in her bassinet, like oh my gosh, she can choke on it. It's like she can't even pick it up. You know what I mean. But when you're in it you can't see it that way. But yeah, those things. And then I was afraid I was swaddling her wrong. I'm like what if she gets caught up in her swaddle? I had a lot of anxiety about her not surviving we all do.

Speaker 1: 16:02

I mean I'm not going to normalize that, but I think to some extent everybody's concerned. And then when it gets to the point where you're not able to have normal bodily functions like sleep, you start to like, yeah, like you just start spiraling, it's spiraling. Yeah, if I was well rested.

Speaker 2: 16:17

Maybe I would look at it differently. But yeah, every little thing is concerning when you have a baby for the first time the irritability you mentioned I was definitely irritable and it was just a hard time. I would say the first, probably three months was the hardest for me and then she finally started sleeping a little bit more and rest beating. We never really figured out. I pumped and bottle fed her formula and so and I had guilty feelings about that it's just you feel like you should be doing all these things that are good for your baby but at the end of the day, like breastfeeding just wasn't good for me and because it's not good for me, it's not going to be good for her, because I was very frustrated, which upset her, and it's all just so hard.

Speaker 2: 17:04

I wish I knew about higher analactation, it's all, and I wish I I don't know why. I guess I just didn't think that that was accessible to me or I didn't really know how to find one Just didn't get that information in all of my. I thought I was just doing such a great job doing my six week childbirth education class and I did. I'm happy I did that, but I do think that a postpartum prep class would have been extremely beneficial for me and frankly, I think I recommend it to anyone. Why not? I mean, they even tell you little things like I've learned this sense just efficiency, you know, like efficiency and changing the diaper efficiency and swaddling, like the temperature of your house shouldn't be below.

Speaker 1: 17:45

It's just like little things like that that you don't really think about, that you learn about in postpartum prep classes but not take that class Well, and at the hospital they try to tell you, but things get lost in the shuntful Because you've got nurses coming in and out. You don't know what anybody's already said. They give you this packet. They tell you to read through. Who's got the bandwidth to read after you've just pushed a human out of your body?

Speaker 2: 18:05

Yeah, and I'm sure that they told me a lot of things. I'm sure they did and I just was. I think I was in shock after I had the baby and just kind of like everything was just going over my head. I was just not in space for learning and education after I had the baby.

Speaker 1: 18:22

I think a lot of people think oh, I've got three months to learn this. Yeah, well, if you want to take the most stressful, challenging, life-changing three months of your life to learn something, okay, it may not go well. In my experience it doesn't go well. Now, if you're someone that I don't know succeeds at everything, I guess that's not me yeah.

Speaker 1: 18:47

Same, okay. So then you took some of that information with you to the next birth. What were the takeaways that you brought with you, and what worked out well and what just didn't even apply?

Speaker 2: 18:58

Yeah. So with my second birth it was completely different. I ended up having full placenta previa and had to have a C-section scheduled, like we knew about it. That was nice, but it was my biggest fear to have a C-section again, because knowledge is power and I knew nothing about it All. I knew they were going to be cutting me open and I wasn't going to be able to feel my legs and that all creeped me out, and so I learned from my first birth that I need more information, right. So I didn't know that this was a thing, but I did a lot of research and I took a C-section birth class and I saw it and I was like, oh, I have to take this, I have to see, I have to know what this is going to be, and it was hard to watch. It made me feel a little bit nervous. However, I knew that I was going to be better off having the information and because it was a scheduled C-section and it was in the afternoon, so I had the morning to mentally prepare for it.

Speaker 2: 20:06

And I ended up taking a prenatal yoga class with my very favorite prenatal yoga teacher, claire, and she understood I had been taking yoga with her and she knew that I was afraid to feel numb, since I had not felt that before. The idea of not being able to feel my body was really creeped me out. But she reminded me of the things that I would be able to feel, and so this whole yoga class was about. She would have me rub my fingers together, rub my palms together, bring my hands through my hair, have my husband bring his hands through my hair, and to really focus on the things I could feel. And so I did all that and I went in for my cesarean and it's exactly what I did. I just kept thinking about I have my hands out, I was rubbing my hands, I can feel my hands, I can feel my chest, I can feel my feet, like all these things, and it was so helpful. It's the class that I took in that, the cesarean birth class, and then having that experience with Claire before my birth, my cesarean birth, I think, really got me through it. And I hired a postpartum doula.

Speaker 2: 21:26

This time, nice, I hired a lactation consultant. My husband and I had arranged to have our laundry picked up for like a month while I was recovering, because I couldn't go up and down the stairs and carry laundry and he had to go back to work after two weeks and so we were going to just need some extra help around the house. I, prior to birth, I meal prepped. My freezer was full of bone broths and different like meals and soups and chilies. I just felt like I was ready.

Speaker 2: 22:02

And it's like I really went over the top because I didn't do any of this with my first and I really struggled, you know postpartum, and I just wanted to rewrite that, you know, and so I feel like I needed, I wanted like a do-over in a way, and I did all those things. And I don't know if it's because of all those things, or because it's my second baby, or because at this point we were living now back in Virginia, where all of my family and friends are, so we had a lot of support, or if it was all of those things that made my experience just so much better. Was it hard? Yes, it was hard. Yes, I had my moments, but overall my postpartum experience with my second was just a lot easier on me and my family, you know, and probably on the baby, and I learned a lot.

Speaker 2: 22:52

And when I took a postpartum prep class, I did it all online and it was really great. And the lactation. It just didn't even occur to me to call my insurance, you know. And so I called my insurance company and I got 10 free in-home sessions. Really, that's amazing, yeah, and I was like great. So I, you know, found this network of lactation consultants and they came to my house. It was incredible. I did post-needle massage.

Speaker 2: 23:19

I was like you know like I just people lead this you know.

Speaker 1: 23:24

Yeah, did your insurance pay for that too? No, well, they might. I actually didn't ask. Should I have asked? Maybe Some insurance will pay for massage. I don't know if they'll do post-needle. I don't know what their stipulations are, and they've always got stipulations. So that's great, well, and then. So what comes up for me when you say stuff like this and what I guess my limiting thoughts were? I can't afford any of this. But you have managed to figure out a way to not only help moms find these resources that help make them affordable. So if your insurance doesn't cover it, there's other ways, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 23:55

So can you talk about that? Yeah, and so with Baby Cito, and this is like you know, lindsay started Baby Cito and then she asked me to join on about six months later, and I was, and Lindsay was on the podcast a couple weeks ago.

Speaker 1: 24:09

Oh yeah, ok, yeah, so.

Speaker 2: 24:12

I had sort of been involved from the beginning, but very casually and as a friend. I just thought it was amazing what she was doing. And the registry piece of Baby Cito is what really resonated with me, and I think probably in part because of being a new mom again, and I love this concept of registering for your postpartum doula or your birth doula or your lactation and having the cash funds to take care of yourself and your family. I think that. And the insurance piece, all your insurance company. You know, I just you know they're not going to cover a lot of things, but I was surprised to hear about the lactation and I think that because I got my lactation covered, I felt like I could justify the postpartum doula and I hired her for 12 hours.

Speaker 2: 25:01

It wasn't this whole long thing but it was like just enough time. She helped me with my laundry, she helped me make snacks, she held my baby so I could go take a shower. You know like all these little things that were just so nice and everyone should register for that. You know there's no way that that can't be helpful. You know what I mean and that is what I love about baby CTO is that we have all these types of providers on the website that are. You know, Lindsey, and I know all of them and we recommend them and people should call them and interview them, see if they like them and add them to their registry, Like it's just the best thing ever and I wish that I had that before I had kids, but it didn't exist then, but now it does for everybody else to reap those benefits.

Speaker 1: 25:50

Yeah, I love that. I wish I'd had it too. The other thing is it doesn't have to be just postpartum, it's also it's perinatal and beyond and beyond.

Speaker 2: 25:57

Yeah, so you could, you know, yeah, exactly. So registering for gymnastics for your four year old, or ice skating or art classes, it really could be anything sort of knowing and understanding the importance of services and experiences just are there. They significantly make a difference, rather than think you know that like a little, a toy, for example, for like a kid's birthday or a onesie Right exactly how many onesies can you use.

Speaker 1: 26:29

You know, and that's great.

Speaker 2: 26:30

Like we need clothes for our baby, right, but it's much nicer to give someone the gift of service.

Speaker 1: 26:36

Yeah, so the service registry for people that don't can't really wrap their head around it, because it took me a minute to figure out even what it was If you're doing your registry like if you would register for big name stores with your onesies, with your bottles, with all your stuff through baby Cito, you can also register for services. So if you add to, if you get a generic registry and you're adding things on, you can add like the service of lactation consultant, or you can do birth doulo, or you can do birth coach, or there's one company that I just think is so cool. It's like you can rent.

Speaker 2: 27:10

Yes, you can rent baby stuff that you're only gonna use for like a couple months and then you give it back, or maybe your baby, and you get the new stuff Doesn't like a swing and you've just spent $200 on it and they hate it because not every baby likes it. And you're like no, what you know, I have this thing.

Speaker 2: 27:25

It's so much yeah to like try all the different swings and bouncers, and they have a bunch of stuff Cribs, bassinets. It's incredible. I wish I knew about these things, like I just didn't before baby Cito. I did not know that I could do all this and I would have saved a ton of money.

Speaker 1: 27:41

Yeah, cause, how many swings did you go through? And I just got to the point where I was like, well, my kid isn't gonna have a swing.

Speaker 2: 27:46

I mean, you didn't want a swing, it was, she was not interested.

Speaker 1: 27:49

Yeah, and yeah, that's how my daughter was and myself loved it. So I was like what was the point? And then the other thing, the other service that you provide which I just think is brilliant Is you moms can pay to have you guys help them connect. So it's not just there's one level right where you can just kind of search the website on your own and develop your little service registry and kind of do the DIY. Or if you don't want to DIY, you want someone to just pinpoint what you need, because you're not even sure what you need. You just aren't sure how you're gonna do all the things and what are the all the things? Anyway, you guys provide that service where you say here are the things that you need to think about, here are the things that we can connect you to so that you can think about that, and then here is how you're gonna pay for it exactly.

Speaker 2: 28:36

It's all just done for you for a very reasonable amount of money, and I think it's just yeah, and I think Brilliant a lot of people don't know what they need and when they need it or have the you know the time to call all these places or to email them or to find out their rates or If they take insurance or if they don't, and when they're available. So we, through the family concierge, we do that all for you. We, you know you want Postpartum, do a lot. You're looking for summer camp for your five year old and you're looking for a like to. You know, whatever it is, it can be over.

Speaker 2: 29:10

Okay, you know, we'll go on, will send you resources and then we'll connect you to those providers Personally and it's all everything that you asked for, like your price range or time of day, whatever it's like. We're only gonna send you people who are available during those times, and so it just takes a lot of the time and like work out for the parents, because time is something that we don't have a lot of kids running around and so, yeah, we're happy to do that.

Speaker 1: 29:37

That's amazing so right now you guys are kind of in the DC Virginia area, mostly northern Virginia, but there's some providers that Expand their practice out to DC and Maryland, if someone is, because you know your people can be listening to this podcast anywhere in the world. If somebody were to want to utilize any of the services, is there anything that's available nationwide or beyond the?

Speaker 2: 30:01

registry you can use from anywhere. So if your local, you can register for specific providers that we have in our directory. If you live in California, you can still create a service registry and then you would just put in lactation consultant and then how much you're asking for for that and you can Identify someone in California. But yeah, you can still create a cash register from anywhere in the world. It doesn't have to be northern Virginia and eventually we'd love to be in major city but that will be probably over the next several years yeah, baby steps.

Speaker 1: 30:39

well, amy, is there anything that we didn't touch on that you wanted to talk about today?

Speaker 2: 30:44

I don't think so. Thank you for letting me sort of retell my story. I love it, always interesting. It's interesting thinking about thinking about it again, and things I kind of forget About the experience kind of come up as I talk about it again, and so that's really nice.

Speaker 1: 31:04

So I really appreciate it yeah, well, thank you, I'm really excited to see where baby seat goes, cuz I think it's just brilliant. Thank you, yeah, we're excited.