Mini-Episode: What is Prenatal Coaching?

Birth often feels like a test you can fail, even when you and your baby are healthy. We tackle the missing support layer that changes that feeling: prenatal coaching that builds a grounded mindset, clear communication, and a flexible plan you can trust when things get real.

We start by naming the gap most parents feel between medical safety and emotional steadiness. I walk through how prenatal coaching complements your OB, midwife, nurses, and doula by focusing on beliefs, boundaries, and language. Together, we surface the quiet stories—like “natural is the only good birth” or “if I plan hard enough, I can control everything”—and gently replace them with thoughts that match your values. You’ll hear how to craft a birth vision that guides decisions without boxing you in when clinical realities change.

From there, we practice power-sharing with providers so consent becomes a conversation. I share simple, high-impact questions that help you pause, understand risks and benefits, and consider options without escalating conflict. We dig into what reduces emotional birth trauma: asking for explanations when safe, naming your preferences, and learning grounding tools that work in triage or transition. I also clarify what a prenatal coach does and doesn’t do—I’m not diagnosing or changing meds; I’m your thinking partner before birth and a steady guide in the debrief after.

If you’ve felt anxious at appointments, stuck between induction and waiting, wondering about epidurals or VBAC, or carrying a hard first birth into a new pregnancy, this conversation offers a way forward. You’ll leave with language to advocate, a mindset that lowers shame, and a vision that helps you feel like the leader of your birth story. If you want the detailed notes with questions to ask, common beliefs to revisit, and prompts to start your birth vision, comment “notes” and I’ll send them your way. Like what you heard? Subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review to help others find the show.

Coaching offer

Kelly Hof: Labor Nurse + Birth Coach
Basically, I'm your birth bestie! With me as your coach, you will tell fear to take a hike!

Chapters

• 0:00 Defining The Missing Support Layer
• 0:48 Roles Of OBs, Nurses, And Doulas
• 2:46 What Prenatal Coaching Really Does
• 3:33 Unpacking Hidden Beliefs About Birth
• 4:28 Becoming Leader Of Your Birth Story
• 5:29 Process Over Perfection In Labor
• 6:29 Reducing Emotional Birth Trauma
• 7:43 What A Coach Does And Doesn’t Do
• 8:33 Who Benefits And How To Start

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:57

Hey friend, it's Kelly, prenatal coach, labor nurse, and mom of two. Today I'm breaking down what prenatal coaching actually is, what I do and what I don't do, and why this missing layer of support can change everything about how we feel in birth and postpartum. Before we dive in, if you want notes from this video, comment notes below and I'll send them to you. Let's start with the gap that no one talks about. When we're pregnant, we're usually told we need an OB or midwife to keep us and baby medically safe during pregnancy, maybe even a high-risk doctor or MFM if there are extra concerns. Nurses to monitor safety, give medicines, and keep things moving in labor, and maybe a doula to support us physically at the bedside during labor. All of those roles are important, but here's the honest truth. None of those roles are built to sit with us for an hour and say, what are you most afraid of? What do you really want this birth to feel like? What old stories about birth or your body are still living in your head? How will you speak up if something doesn't feel right? OBs and MFMs are focused on medical safety. Doulas are focused on comfort and support during the birth itself. Nurses are juggling safety, monitoring, medical tasks, and multiple patients. There's very little time or space in the system to unpack our fears, talk through our beliefs about birth, practice how to talk with our providers, or connect our vision with the very real medical system we're birthing in. And that's the gap where so many moms end up feeling blindsided, powerless, or like they did birth wrong, even when they and baby are okay. That's where prenatal coaching comes in. Prenatal coaching is the work we do before birth, so we can show up during birth feeling steady, clear, and grounded. Think of me as your guide, mirror, and thinking partner for the emotional and mental side of birth prep. Here's what that looks like in real life. One, we look at what you believe about birth. A lot of us carry quiet beliefs like birth is dangerous, birth is nothing but pain. If I think about it too much, I'll freak out, so I'd rather not. Natural birth is the best kind of birth. Anything else is failing. If I plan hard enough, I can control how everything goes. We don't usually say these out loud. They just sit in the background like a program running on a computer. In prenatal coaching, we gently pull these beliefs into the light, not to judge them, not to shame them, but to ask, is this belief helping me or is it making me more scared? Does this match what I actually want for my birth? What else could be true? We then create new thoughts, new phrases, new pictures of birth that match your values and support the kind of experience you want. This isn't toxic positivity. We're not pretending birth is easy. We're preparing your mind and nervous system so you can meet birth with courage, not panic. Two, we help you see yourself as the leader of your birth story. A lot of us were raised to think doctors are the only experts, and our job is to be good patients and say yes. In pregnancy, that can turn into always deferring, saying yes when we want to say I'm not sure, and going along with things we don't fully understand. In prenatal coaching, we practice a different picture. Your provider is the medical expert. You are the expert in your body, your baby, and your values. We talk about what shared power looks like. We practice questions like: can you explain the benefits and risks of that? Is this urgent, or can I have some time to think? And what are my other options? You learn how to stand in your own voice without being combative or disrespectful. This is how we move from submitting to the system to partnering with your team. Three, we focus on process, not perfection. Many of us treat birth like a project. Make a plan, check the boxes. If it doesn't go exactly how we wanted, we failed. But birth is not a project. It's a living process with moving parts we can't control. Baby's position, how your cervix responds, how your body reacts in labor, and what's happening on the unit that day are all out of your control. In prenatal coaching, we shift from I have to make the birth go a certain way, to I'm responsible for how I show up, the questions I ask, the tools I use, and the way I care for myself before, during, and after. We build a birth vision, not a rigid checklist. That shift lowers shame and it makes it much less likely that you'll walk away feeling like you did everything wrong just because the path looked different than you pictured. Four, we lower the risk of emotional birth trauma. Birth trauma isn't only about what medically happened. Many moms feel traumatized because they felt ignored, they felt rushed or pressured, they didn't understand what was happening to them, they felt like things were done to them and not with them, or they just didn't feel safe. Prenatal coaching doesn't promise a perfect birth, but it does give you the tools to understand what's happening, name what you want and don't want, ask for pauses and explanations when it's safe to do so, process your fears before you're in the middle of the storm. And after birth, we can also debrief, connect the dots, make sense of what happened, remind you of how you showed up with strength, and start healing any places that still feel raw. That's a big part of why I do this work. So fewer moms walk away thinking, I was healthy, baby was healthy, so why do I feel so broken inside? 5. What I don't do as a prenatal coach. Let me be super clear about what I don't do. I don't give medical orders or change your medications. I don't diagnose medical conditions. I am not at your bedside as your doula during labor. What I do is help you prepare before birth, help you practice your voice and decisions, help you line up your support team, and when you want it, help you process your experience afterward. You might benefit from prenatal coaching if you're anxious but don't even know what to ask your provider. You're trying to decide induction, epidural, V back, repeat C-section, and feel stuck. You want a doula, but don't know how to find the right one. You had a hard or traumatic birth before and want this time to feel different. You feel small or rushed in appointments and want to feel steadier or more prepared. This is where we slow everything down and say, what do you value? What's in your control? What can we plan for now so you're not scrambling later? So to sum it up, your OB keeps you and your baby medically safe. Your doula supports you at the bedside, your nurses help you moment to moment. Prenatal coaching is the bridge between everything you're learning and how you actually feel and show up in your birth. It's where we do the inner work, the mindset work, the communication work, so you walk into birth feeling more grounded, not just more informed. If you like this video and you want the notes, including the questions to ask, the common beliefs we work through, and the prompts to start your own birth vision, comment notes below and I'll send them your way. And if you're listening to this thinking, I would love someone to walk through this with me step by step. You are exactly who I created my perennial coaching for. Go to Kellyhoff.com to learn more.