Mini Episode - What Does Labor Actually Feel Like?

Most moms are scared of labor because no one ever explains what the sensations actually feel like. So today, we’re breaking it down — in real, simple, honest terms.

In this video, we talk about:
 ✨ What early labor really feels like
 ✨ How contractions change as your body opens
 ✨ Why pelvic pressure feels so intense (and why it’s GOOD)
 ✨ The emotional “crisis moments” that happen right before progress
 ✨ How to reframe sensations so you feel confident instead of scared

When you understand what’s happening in your body, labor stops feeling like something to fear — and starts feeling like something you can move with.

If you want the notes from this video (including the labor sensation guide + the self-coaching prompts), comment NOTES below and I’ll send them to you. 💛

Coaching offer

Kelly Hof: Labor Nurse + Birth Coach
Basically, I'm your birth bestie! With me as your coach, you will tell fear to take a hike!

Transcript

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Hey friend! Today we're talking about something most people avoid. And honestly, something most moms wish had been explained clearly. What labor actually feels like in your mind, in your body, and emotionally, especially during the emotional crisis moments. But before we dive in, drop the word notes below if you want everything written out for you, including descriptions, mindset tools, and coaching prompts you can use during labor. Part one. Early labor. What it feels like. Let's start with early labor because this is where most moms think something is wrong, even when everything is completely normal. Early labor often feels like period cramps, tightening across the belly, pressure in your lower back, waves that come and go. They might be far apart and then close together, then spread out again, and that is completely normal. You can still walk, talk, rest, and function, but you'll also start to feel a shift. Emotionally, this is usually when moms start saying things like, are these real contractions? Is this even doing anything? Should we go to the hospital? This emotional wobble is actually a transition point. Excitement turns into doubt. And here's the part most people never tell you you are not doing anything wrong. This is exactly what happens as your body slowly prepares to move from early labor into active labor. In early labor, you can usually ride the waves, you feel in control, and you might even feel proud and excited. But as your body starts doing the real mechanical work of opening the cervix and moving the baby's head down, everything begins to shift. Your confidence wobbles, you'll start questioning whether you're progressing, the sensations become harder to ignore, you may feel emotional, teary, or overwhelmed. This is normal. This is healthy and it's a sign of progress. And here's the important part. When you understand that this emotional shift means your labor is working, you stop interpreting it as a setback and recognize it as the moment your baby is truly coming closer. Part two. Next comes active labor. You'll feel intensity and pelvic pressure. Active labor is when contractions become stronger and more organized. Here's what it often feels like: your whole abdomen working from top to bottom, needing to sway, squat, lean, and move instinctively, needing to focus. Talking becomes harder. You can't pull away from it, you work with it. Your body shifts, opens, and creates space for your baby. Now, if your baby is what we call occiput posterior, or also known as sunny side up, meaning facing forward toward your belly button, the sensations can change. Moms often feel more back pressure, deep grinding sensations in the pelvis, pressure in the rectum earlier, and a feeling like your baby is pushing on your tailbone. It's not dangerous, it's just a different pattern of pressure. This is where position changes, movement, and support matter. Now let's talk about pelvic pressure. This usually shows up as you move from active labor into transition, and it's the moment mom's described as something happening deep inside your pelvis. Something is happening. This isn't just cramping. This isn't just tightening. This is your baby's head pressing into bones and shifting the joints of your pelvis so your body can open up for your baby to move through. Here's the closest real-world comparison I've ever found. Your baby's head pressing on the bones of your pelvis feels like stubbing your toe or like something heavy rolling over your toe, except it's happening deep inside your pelvis and you can't pull away from it. There's nowhere to go except through it. So what does your body do? It starts doing what it's designed to do: rocking, swaying, squatting, shifting your weight, and changing positions instinctively. Not because you're trying to fix the sensation, but because your body is instinctively creating space for your baby to move down. It's powerful, it's intense, and it's incredibly normal. When we understand what this pressure actually means, we open the door to the possibility of not fearing it, but realizing it's a sign that your body is working exactly the way it's meant to. Next comes the rectal pressure or the feeling like you got to poop. Let's normalize this. When your baby's head presses on your rectum, it literally feels like you need to poop. This is one of the strongest signs that your baby is low and your body is almost ready to push. It's intense and it means your body is working perfectly. Let's be honest, sometimes you do poop. Whether you have an epidural and don't notice because your nurse is quietly cleaning it up, or you don't have an epidural and you're making frequent trips to the toilet to let it all out, your body is doing its job. It's making way for your baby. Now, at any point in this process, there may be some emotional crisis moments. This is where the coaching framework comes in. There are predictable emotional crisis moments in labor, and they are normal. A crisis moment can look like crying suddenly, saying, I can't do this anymore, asking to leave, panic between contractions, feeling like nothing is working, losing confidence in yourself, or just giving up over and over again. Those usually happen at transitions, like leaving home to go to the hospital, a shift change where you get a new nurse or doctor, moving from early labor to active labor right before pushing, or when pain or pressure change suddenly. And here's the truth: these moments are not signs that you're failing, they're signs that your body is progressing. This is where prenatal coaching tools come in. These are the same tools I teach my clients who are afraid of labor, so they know exactly how to bring themselves back into their strength in the moment. Self-coaching technique number one, echo your own thoughts. Instead of spiraling, you name what's happening. I'm overwhelmed right now. And that makes sense. Echoing is simply reflection. It grounds your brain and calms the nervous system. Another example is that feeling of the baby in my pelvis is intense. We are working together and making progress. Self-coaching technique number two. Tap into your personal motivation. Before labor, get clear on your why. Then in the hard moments, you remind yourself, this birth is what I wanted. This sensation means my baby is coming closer. I wanted to stay connected to my body and I'm doing it. Your own words become your anchor. Self-coaching technique number three. Remember, you chose this path. Fear makes labor feel dangerous, but labor itself is not danger. Say to yourself, I am here by choice. My body is doing something healthy. This intensity has a purpose. This is exactly what I wanted. This keeps your mind from interpreting normal labor sensations as emergencies. Self-coaching technique number four. Reassure yourself that everything is healthy. Fear amplifies pain. Reassurance helps your body release tension. Try everything is healthy and normal. My body knows what it's doing. Nothing has gone wrong. This helps bring you back into your parasympathetic nervous system. Self-coaching technique number five. Break labor into short, manageable intervals. When labor feels endless, your brain panics. So instead, give yourself a short window. Let's get through three more contractions. Let's see where I am in 15 minutes. Or count down during the contractions, from 60 to 1. This creates psychological safety and prevents overwhelm. These techniques are not about pretending labor is easy. They're about giving you internal tools to navigate the hardest moments with confidence instead of fear. When you know how to coach yourself through emotional crisis moments, you stop seeing intensity as something happening to you and start seeing it as something happening for you. This is how you stay grounded, stay in your power, and how you meet yourself in birth with strength instead of panic. Birth is intense, physically, mentally, and emotionally. But when you understand what these sensations mean, and when you know how to support your mind through the hardest moments, you stop feeling afraid of labor and start feeling prepared for it. If you want the written notes, including sensations, descriptions, mindset tools, and support phrases, comment notes and I'll send it to you.